Worried about my husband

Hi @munchicans

You sound so insightful and caring, and it seems you and your husband are working so hard to stay a float.

I think it's great that you are seeking out support. May I ask if you partner would be open to seeing a psychologist? I ask because he might be able to get counselling under the Medicare rebate - I think you can get 6 - 10 sessions. To do this, he would need a referral from a GP. Do you have a family doctor that he would feel comfortable to see to get a referral? Speaking to psych could allow him to talk through his stress, find new ways of coping, feel supported and gain new insights.

There are also support groups that he can attend. I can't think of an Bipolar specific, but GROW has support groups for anyone affected by MI. You might also want to try ARAFMI, they specifically provide support to carers.

You could also suggest the SANE Forums for carers. It's the same as this Forum but for carers. Feel free to go on there yourself, and ask carers if they know of any services.

Hope this helps a little.

CB

Hi munchicans,

In addition to Cerrybombs post, it is important that your husband continues to do things that he enjoys and looks after his own mental health and wellbeing. Some carers feel guilty if they do things they enjoy while their partner is depressed or unwell. So if you can encourage him to find time for enjoyment, relaxation, socialising etc it may be helpful for you both. Thanks for your post, it sounds like you are really caring for each other.

Take care,

Durango.

Hi @munchicans,

Was enthralled by your story, thanks so much for sharing.

It seems like there is a lot that is going on for you and your husband and by reaching out here, it is the first great step to finding that support.

I would second the thoughts of Cherry in terms of using Grow as service, it can be a helpful resource in finding support groups that could be appropriate.

Welcome to the forums, this is a fabulous peer-peer support network that encourages those new and longer experienced in how it all works.

l wonder if any other members have further thoughts to bring to the table.. @WombatBoots @Mazarita @kato @kenny66 @Akash75@kristin@Rosie@Jacques@Snuffles@Melody90, feel free to sit by the fire, where it's warm and listen to some groovy music.

*sending you cyber hugs* @munchicans,

and welcome again to the forums

Stay Groovy,

Rhythm

Hi

I really feel for you in this situation. I have bipolar as well, I was only diagnosed 4 months ago, prior to this I was diagnosed with Major depression, anxiety, OCD, Primary sleep disorder, BPD, all sorts of things were thrown around. I was in a long term relationship while I was suffering through my longest and most severe depression episode to date (about 18 months ago). I too,like yourself, could see the toll my state of mind and behaviour was taking on my partner. Unfortunetly he did not have positive family or friendship supports and hated his job and eventually he burned out and was not able to stay in the relationship with me.

I do think that if we had known exactly what my isssue was at the time then it may have helped a bit. He may have been able to read resources about how to care for people with bipolar and understand the illness a bit better (the black dog institute has some good fact sheets for carers of people with bipolar).

But the biggest thing I can tell you that I'd wish I'd done differently was to push myself to go to group therapy myself. Not even necessarily a depression support group, but a group of people in a social setting that was in a positive space.

After my relationship broke down I joined a choir ( singing is something that I find easy/stress free and uplifitng) it took me a while to come out of my shell and percervere with it, but getting out of the house once a week for a few hours made a big difference to me, I was able to interact with people in a positive environment and I built my own support networks through that space (eventually).

A support group for your husband (in person or online) is probably a great thing too, but if you're not already doing some sort of social activity, and it is possible to do so, a social, group activity for yourself may help to take some of the stress off of your husband. Maybe, maybe not, it can be hard to put yourself in a social situation when suffering from the effects of bipolar but I pushed through the uncomfortable stage (although I have fallen off the wagon a few times).

All the best, hang in there.

Hey @munchicans

I think you're really seeing it from your husband's perspective and what a great thing! You have insight into the situation which is helpful for everyone in the family.

A visit for him to the psych could be really great, as it gives the opportunity to 'let it all out' and find some solutions to thought patterns or things going on your life.

The main thing I saw in your post is that you guys seem to work as a team. It was sweet how you said both of you were trying to 'hold it together'. Sometimes the team needs some guidance from a coach or a new strategy to play the game. And you're looking for that. Great stuff.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Rosie.

Hi @munchicans

FOUR kids in this day is a hand full. You have insight. Tell him you care and are sorry it might not look like it. I am a choir girl too. try local council and community centres or GROW. It would be good if there were more support groups in suburbs .. we all need some kind of village ..

HI @munchicans,

I'm glad people here have been able to help you & you have been able to have more conversations with your husband.

I am new here too & this is my first attempt at offerring support.

I just wanted to say I really relate to your story as I have a partner of nearly 12 years & throughout the years I have often worried about his own mental health. He did try to go to some community support groups for carers, but he personally didn't find them helpful, as he said everyone focused on the inadequate support services for people with severe mental illness. However, your husband may find them helpful - I'm not trying to discourage you. I probably would think him seeing a psychologist or counsellor would be more helpful. And I agree with someones comment - that he needs an enjoyable outlet. My partner has cycling - although the severity of my suicidality this year has prevented him from doing much this year.

My parnter is extremely loving & supportive - although I can forget this with "no one cares" woes of depression & also get delusions of persecution.

It sounds like your partner is trying his best & loves you very much too - so know that you will get through this together.

Take care *hugs*