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Feeling Helpless

Molly73Contributor

Feeling Helpless

Hi everyone, I've had a really awful night which has been coming for a while. Since about August last year my Bipolar partner has been in a downward spiral and about 3 weeks ago flipped into Hypomania like the flick of a switch. He had an elevated sense of happiness for a couple of days which rapidly changed to extreme aggression. And it's gotten more and more out of control. He lives in the city during the week and usually comes home on weekends but even that isn't happening now. His flat mate has finally had enough and is moving out and confirmed my fears that my partner has been taking ice and spending thousands a night at strip clubs till the late hours of the morning during the week and weekends. Tonight he lost it at me and told me he wants to split up after 20 years. I'm so worried for him. Ive seen him like this twice before and he eventually broke down and got help, but this time with the drugs involved I'm worried that he won't snap out of this himself. Has anyone else been in this situation. Do people come out of this level of mania on their own. He refuses to get help.

6 replies

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In response to: Feeling Helpless

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Feeling Helpless

Hi @Molly73 - I'm so sorry that you are in this situation with your partner. It has to be really scary. It's obvious that he is out of control and with the drugs in the mix as well, things could very well turn into tragic proportions. He has to get help and you have to ensure that you are safe.

Even if the current episode abates, it will only be a matter of time before the next one and you will be super anxious. I think you need to give him an ultimatum - get help or as difficult as it may be, involve professionals who can assist. Hopefully, it won't get to that because usually a crisis team will only act when there is a serious incident.

Please take care of yourself. His behaviour is not acceptable.

In response to: Feeling Helpless

Molly73Contributor

Re: Feeling Helpless

Thanks Soul for your advice. I've never heard of a crisis team before. What do they do?

In response to: Feeling Helpless

Molly73Contributor

Re: Feeling Helpless

Thanks so much.

In response to: Re: Feeling Helpless

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Feeling Helpless

Best to have a plan in place @Molly73. before you need it. My partner lost it, assaulted me and was arrested. He had hidden his mental illness from me. There were always excuses why he was anxious or stressed. Neighbours dialled 000. The police were quite ruthless and as he appeared calm at the time they caught up with him and he admitted guilt, they assumed that he was just a thug. Maybe he was as after he was released from prison, he continued to assault me.

I have left him now and for the first time in his life, he is serious about getting help and changing his life. He believes that the relationship can be salvaged. But for me, it's a case of too little, too late and the wounds run too deep. The physical ones have healed save some scars but the emotional ones are still so raw.

I wish you all the best. After 20 years, you become used to being in a relationship and there must have been some wonderful times. I'm sure this is not the case at the moment. Maybe things can be salvaged. It won't be easy and takes enormous commitment.

In response to: Re: Feeling Helpless

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Feeling Helpless

Sending you a hug as well @Molly73.

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