Missed Topic: Fear!

Hi everybody,

I have missed the forum on the topic of fear on Tuesday. But anyhow let me share with you you guys on how the word 'FEAR' has made me totally a different person. I grew up as a normal child like others and surrounded by such a lovely family,relations and friends. From childhood I never knew what is fear all about until I came to high school. I was sent to my uncle's house by my parents so that I would be monitored and given extra care on my studies. It all started there when both my uncles threated me like a slave by hitting and throwing harsh words at me when I do any petty mistakes. I had the fear or phobia grown in me till i was 18 years old. Evrytime I see them my heart beats very fast and there was no freedom in life. After school I would stay back in a park and relax by myself before going back home. The fear developed in me whenever people talk in high tone or argue. Later, when I finished my high school and enrolled in a college, I never had the fear in me as I was away from these monsters. I quickly developed a better life for myself and socialised with everyone until I was married.

Later, at the age of 30, I found that the fear in me has not left but it was just submerged. My life partner was the trigger of the fear in me. She gave me a tremondeous shock of my life in every arguments and disagreements between both of us. The fear quickly developed in me and everytime I see her, I would have multiple heart palpitation. She made use of my weakness. Everytime there is arguments or disagreements between us, I would tremble and shiver. My mouth gets dry. I did not know that all these will lead to mental illness but YES it did. Slowly, I could feel changes in me wherby it leads to stress and depression. I was not able to concentrate on my work, my appetite was very low and was not able to sleep. Just imagine sleeping beside an enemy by the name of wife. In just few months I was diagnosed with bipolar diasorder and warded.

What I would like to share here is, for those parents who have children who are young and vulnerable, never ever mistreat them with such a punishment. It will make a deep impact in their life later. Let them be themselves and if you cant show your love and care, please do not hurt them with words.

This is my true life experience. Eventhough Im in my 40s now but the feeling of FEAR is still in me.