Something for new members and old

Hello,

Firstly to old friends from here, who have been with me throughout my journey, i have to say again and i don't think i will ever be able to say it enough - A very Big Thank you, It was the kindness and openess i found here that really helped me change a few things in my life that needed changing, i do not know how i would have gone with out this forum.

To New forum Members,

I too sat/stood/lay down same as yourselves when i first found this forum, and i had no idea what to do, where to turn, or even really what i was going through, i needed somewhere as you very well might too, somewhere that was safe, somewhere that i would not be judged for what i was expierencing, somewhere, where even tho i was talking to real people who have been there and done that, i knew that it was anonymous, i want you all to remember this because it is a truly great thing, it allowed me to not be gaurded, to not put up walls, to openly and honestly describe what i was going through, what i had been through, and it gave me a bond with others who share similar stories, or bits and pieces of it, people who actually understood, what was going on.

For the new members, my story is spread through this forum, but i will save you trying to find it, about 7 years ago, i had a psychotic break from reality, i was suffering delusions, paranoia, i had feelings of ill intent towards myself and my family, it was then that i was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, which was great, i had a reason for why i did what i did, why i lost the plot so to speak, mind you it didn't make it any easier to take knowing that i had done these things, i was trialled on multiple different combinations of medications over the space of 6 months, until we found one that worked......

i then got a job in sales, things were going well nearly 3 years ago, i got a promotion to managment, and i felt everything was going good, i decided that i could come off my meds, because i thought i was fine, i had not actually looked into the disorder at all.

2 years ago, i started self medicating using illicit drugs, which became a full blown addiction, i had two maybe more psychotic episodes last year, most likely combination of self medicating and bipolar not mixing well, my work performance deteriorated and i eventually lost my job, 2 weeks later, my now ex wife called the police on me, and we separated the very next day.

This is around the time i found the forum, i was being heavily medicated with a new combination of medicine to help with my bipolar, and i had lost everything, thankfully my parent's having learned all this fun stuff about me, took me in and provided a roof over my head.

in the last eight months i have been a very active member of the forum, it was a place i could write my thoughts, things that i didn't understand, or know, the members here are all fantastic, friendly and supportive.

i have been on here less lately, because, my old boss re-hired me as a salesperson again (he doesn't usually rehire people) i have managed to get a pretty good grip on my disorder, i am well medicated, with little side effects, i have a psychologist who i see on a regular basis my g.p i am very lucky with she has been really good also, and early next month, i meet with a new psychiatrist, who i am hoping i get along well with and they can then be my long term psychiatrist.

My whole point of this long winded message, is/was to let my friends here know i am doing really well in my new job, and that i am still here i just have less time because i work long hours etc

But my real point was to you The new members, i know it is confronting and it is difficult to write what you are going through, but this is a genuine safe environment and the members are really nice.

Remember don't be afraid to ramble, sometimes a ramble helps get the question out there ( i am very good at rambling)

You and i mean each and every one of you, moderators included all rock!