3v3rydayContributor
Bpd without splitting?
Hello!
I am for a while now sure that I have bpd. I currently do not have the means to go to a psychologist, so I have to rely on the internet. I suffer from depression since I'm a teenager (I'm 22), so I always thought that those symptoms are depression symptoms. But I stumbled across a support group on FB and they posted memes about bpd and I could relate to 90% of them. Then I did some research and I realised that bpd sounds a lot like me... I have zero personality, I even went that far, that everytime i saw a character on TV that I r ally likes, I'd try to be them (cat from victorious is the one I remember the most. I was so obsessed with her). I literally don't know what I wanna do as a job, I don't think I have any talents, really. Some days I think I'm pretty good at drawing and then next day I think I suck at it and I can never make a loving out of that. I do have tendencies to abuse drugs and I'm suicidal and I've been self harming for years now (even though I'm clean for half a year now). But I know those are Symptoms of my depression, too. Now here's the thing, I don't really split. I do have a fp and I've been crushing on people really really hard, all my life. Like I get completely obsessed with a person, no matter if they like me back and I would not stop thinking about them and when a boyfriend is also my for and they broke up, I'd fall really really deep. My first real love broke up with me 2years ago and the relationship lasted only 3months but it took me a year to get over them. So I don't really split, like I idiolize people and if they really do me harm, I can hate on them, but it's not as extreme as I think it is with most people who have bpd. So I just wanted to know, if there are people here who have bpd and don't split either? I feel like I'm not valid and I know a self dx is pretty valid, but I'm not sure about this.
I am for a while now sure that I have bpd. I currently do not have the means to go to a psychologist, so I have to rely on the internet. I suffer from depression since I'm a teenager (I'm 22), so I always thought that those symptoms are depression symptoms. But I stumbled across a support group on FB and they posted memes about bpd and I could relate to 90% of them. Then I did some research and I realised that bpd sounds a lot like me... I have zero personality, I even went that far, that everytime i saw a character on TV that I r ally likes, I'd try to be them (cat from victorious is the one I remember the most. I was so obsessed with her). I literally don't know what I wanna do as a job, I don't think I have any talents, really. Some days I think I'm pretty good at drawing and then next day I think I suck at it and I can never make a loving out of that. I do have tendencies to abuse drugs and I'm suicidal and I've been self harming for years now (even though I'm clean for half a year now). But I know those are Symptoms of my depression, too. Now here's the thing, I don't really split. I do have a fp and I've been crushing on people really really hard, all my life. Like I get completely obsessed with a person, no matter if they like me back and I would not stop thinking about them and when a boyfriend is also my for and they broke up, I'd fall really really deep. My first real love broke up with me 2years ago and the relationship lasted only 3months but it took me a year to get over them. So I don't really split, like I idiolize people and if they really do me harm, I can hate on them, but it's not as extreme as I think it is with most people who have bpd. So I just wanted to know, if there are people here who have bpd and don't split either? I feel like I'm not valid and I know a self dx is pretty valid, but I'm not sure about this.
