Confused and struggling

Hi @Ash11

I'm glad you find this community helpful 🙂
So many people can relate - so much so that there are numerous threads on goal setting:

Exercise and goal setting

Goal setting for people recovering from MI

Daily goals, motivation and check in

I think you raise a good point:

'But is seems theres a fine line between gentleness and not doing anything'

I think you have to hit a mid point with this - create small achievable goals, and break them down into chunks give them a go! In my experience, the 'gentleness' comes in when we're being too tough on ourselves - whether that be because we didn't achieve something, things are going too slow and/or if a backward step is taken. That's just my thoughts though 🙂

I'd be keen what others think about this too.

Dear Confused and Struggling,

I can identify with the guilt and loneliness you are going through. MI is very isolating. Sometimes we don't know whether it is better to take it easy and heal or try to do something in the community to get us back on track. I have done both. I have had bi-polar disorder for 47 years, and there are times I simply havent been able to get out of bed. Other times, when I have been feeling better, I have managed to get out and do something and that has given me enormous encouragement. You know your family and friends love you whatever space you are in. There is no judgement involved - they wouldn't judge you if you had diabetes or some other ailment, would they?

Please put away the guilt. I know I have felt guilty sometimes, but I am who I am and over the years I have convinced myself that I am a worthwhile individual. When you are up to it, it is a good idea to seek out some undemanding community work to do - you will be with people, doing something worthwhile,and it will do wonders for your self esteem.

Guilt is so destructive, especially when you are laying it on yourself. You have absultely nothing to feel guilty about.. You have to acknowledge that you are a worhwhile, valuable human being. You do the best you can, and no-one can ask more than that of you. You are who you are, and there is no point in wishing anything else. Accept yourself for who you are and do what you can - it sounds corny, but you have to love yourself - all the rest will follow.

Ellu