Today's Psychosis, a mini-episode

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting anything about my experience with mental illness online and I just wanted to share what its like for me when I had a mini-psychosis episode today. I have been diagnosed with bi polar disorder, and this is my third episode of psychosis.

So this morning at around 2am I woke up from a really weird and scary dream. My thoughts were all over the place as I was trying to make sense of it and put all of the pieces together. I felt that the dream was like a message or signal for me and I started trying to find other pieces to the puzzle and I made what I thought was a significant realisation about the TV show Rick and Morty. My realisation was that Rick and Morty arent really related at all, Rick is Morty's caregiver in a sense that he is the only one that can get Morty to be his real self by putting him in horrible situations, in short Morty is a psychopath. I went to the bathroom and then my son woke up, I went back to bed after settling him to sleep again. When I got up around 8am I know I didnt sleep properly and I decided to wake my husband and tell him about my realisation and weird dream. He advised me to take more of my medication as that is the action plan from my psychatrist and I called work and explained I couldnt come in today and I called my psychatrists office to make an appointment. All the while my thoughts were ticking over, trying to find piece of the imaginary mind puzzle I was trying so desperately to put together. I was having an existential crisis, what if this life is a dream? Who am I really and is everyone around me just there to stop me from harming myself or others, am I the real psychopath? I was sure I was onto something, I was going to find out the truth about myself. I started thinking about running away, getting myself away from the people close to me so they couldn't smokescreen me, so I could finally find the truth, whatever that is. At one point I was going to just sneak out through our courtyard and leave, but I thought better of it, where would I go? I would be a homeless person. I thought, I could be homeless for a while, I had already taken a shower, maybe I could find my way to a foreing country because the english language itself had started to feel like a mind trap to me. I managed to go with my husband to see the GP, as I needed a certificate for work. Just having a chat about it and getting support made such a difference. Gradually over the day things started to improve, especially after I had a nap, though I dont think I slept.

With my first episode there was no clear cause. Second episode was attributed to stress of caring for my baby and this third one? Well I was attacked on the street on my way home from work on Monday by an agressive woman. I wasnt injured but I think the stress of the attack and knowing I would be having an important meeting at work today to discuss returning full time compounded and caused an episode.

Reflecting on what happened today I understand why it is so important to communicate with supportive people and have an action plan to stop a big episode from happening.

Thanks.