ComebackCasual Contributor
Feeling very alone
I'm a first timer here and I'm struggling even with the concept of reaching out. I'm normally a strong, confident, successful person, but am feeling very much alone and vulnerable right now. <br><br>My partner of 23 years is having a manic episode. It's the second he's had. The first one was four years ago and happened quite quickly and without warning (although with hindsight and awareness it was probably weeks in the making). He was scheduled by Police after causing a scene at our local shops.<br><br>He was diagnosed as having hashimotos disease, an autoimune disease of the thyroid. He was put onto thyroxine and we were told that they did not expect a relapse as long as he kept taking the thyroxine.<br><br>We are now probably close to 4 weeks of escalation. He's completely destroyed his professional reputation and that of our business, he's spent over $20,000 of money we don't have on random things, he's registering with online dating sites, he talks at a million miles an hour, can't sit still, hardly sleeping, telling untruths (delusional) about lots of things, thinks he's some sort of financial advisor/guru, social media frenzy directed to professional associates which are libelous or don't make sense, has tried to sell the house and is very agitated and agressive and verbally very abusive to me and others. <br><br>I've had the acute team out twice, his GP has had the acute team out and they refuse to hospitalize him because he's not showing them any signs that he's a physical danger to himself or me. He's being very cunning and manipulative. I now feel as though I'm wasting their time if I call them again. <br><br>I managed to get him to a psychiatrist last week where he was told point blank that he was manic and needed meds. He refused because he "feels great". He blatantly lied to the psychiatrist many times (I sat in on the appointment). He's refusing to get a blood test for his thyroid levels and he's continuing to escalate. <br><br>I know that he is not his usual self, and that what he is doing is not the real him. I'm so incredibly frustrated and feel let down by the mental health system. I don't understand why the damage he is causing to his reputation and our company, or our finances doesn't count as "harm".<br><br>I love him dearly, and I can rationalize his current behavior in the context of an illness, but I'm just not sure how much longer I can handle this. He feels on top of the world and yet I'm the one falling apart. It's breaking my heart to see him like this and knowing the damage it's causing. <br><br>I'm starting to think that it's time I start protecting myself emotionally, physically and financially, but I feel as though I'm being selfish in doing so and betraying him. I'm worried if I do protect myself it will spell the end of our relationship. And even if I did want to get out, he's spent every cent we have and then some, so I'm feeling very stuck and very alone. <br><br>This current episode had been coming for a while with his work stress, but the tipping point was three weeks ago when his brother tried to smash his way into our home wanting to harm us. It was a terrifying ordeal for us both, and we've both responded very differently. The court case is on Tuesday...and my fear is that this will be the point of no return. He has no other support from his parents (elderly and divorced) and his only other sibling passed away 15 years ago in tragic circumstances as a result of schizophrenia. <br><br>We've been through a hell of a lot together in 23 years, but I fear this is the end of the road...and it breaks my heart even thinking that's my only option left...when what I really want is for him to get better and come back. <br>
