how to deal with triggering posts?

Hi @outlander,

i am not sure if you know, and i know that you said you know we are here, but if you are worried about someone please feel comfortable to @Former-Member us and we will recieve an email and a link to the area you posted in.

We will most likely be watching already but this is just a back up and so you know that you can step back if you are feeling overwhelmed and/or triggered, (hopefully) without feeling like you are abandoning the person.

Think of it more like passing the batton to a fresh runner who has been watching and is ready to jump in if needed

Hello @outlander 🙂

When I read a triggering post I'm learning to step back, I choose to see that as helping, rather than continuing with my triggered brain and it's individual different thoughts. If I feel that person may not have gotten anyone else's attention I will tag a moderator, with the knowledge that they will respond. I will often tag that person with a simple heart or a comment of hugs and positivity, so the person knows they have been heard and someone does care. We can't help any others if we don't help ourselves, and in helping ourselves we are helping everyone

Hi @outlander@Former-Member@Fancy_Pants

What the others have told you is excellent Outlander

It doesn't just apply to being triggered either - often I feel as if I can't answer that post or whatever - I might be tired myself - or I just don't relate to the person's problem and I have no idea what to say

Sometimes I just have to think about it

But we are in no way abandoning a person because we can't answer a post - I can't be here all the time and I am sure there are other people like myself who just need to get on with their life and for whatever reason - reading a triggering post or not - just have to get on with their ordinary life

It might sound harsh - but I am sure the forum was not set up to make more problems in someone's life

So read what you can and answer what you can and if there is something you can't deal with - leave a little heart as Niqua said

And I hope today is less traumatic for you - things have been a nightmare for you - and I do with there was a way for you to have more privacy and less nit-picking and interferance from your family

Hugs - Dec

@outlander

Life will change - I can assure you of that - I have been through really chaotic times through mine and I know they change

I had a wonderful psychiatrist back in the 1980s - and I despaired - just as you are now - how could I go on with life the way it was? The doctor told me it would change - and I could see one way that it would and not because I had SI or anything - but the thought was too horrible

But it did change - suddenly - overnight - and it was hard still for a long time - but the change had occurred

This was hard - but I did pull my life together over time

And nothing in our lives stays the same - we overcome one hurdle to face another and maybe we are better people because we learn to get past the hard times

Apart from anything else - your crappy little sisters have to grow up - yeah - uumph 0_l_]]

Dec

That's because you don't have anyone in your life to whom you can talk about all these things

And it is not right - believe me - your mother is abusive in the way she is treating you -

Can you talk to your pop about this? I know he is frail and ill - but believe me - older people love to talk - they need to be needed and they are a resource for you -

In the meantime - talk to your psychiatrist - maybe you can find a social worker - yes - I know - more professional people - but keep trying - I can't talk to anyone in my life about my issues - only here and with professional people - and this is tough

It's really hard and lonely in the dark - this I know

Dec