lost

Dearest @Former-Member

Most definitely not a whinge! I really feel for you. I do understand somewhat what you are struggling with. I've been on similar territory, and I was terrifed. You really have such a load. I wish I could help carry it in some way. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers through the week.

Here is the poem I mentioned to you and @hiddenite the other day:

Footprints

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

I am uncertain who wrote it - as there has been an ongoing dispute over authorship sadly. But I wish you both a week of being carried in the midst of all you are dealing with.

Love to you both, and your children.

Hope for someone to help us carry the load endures...

Kindest regards, Kristin

Thankyou @kristin, the fear of everything is what is crushing me the most i think. The unknown is such a heavy worry to carry all of the time.

I know what you mean @Former-Member . The worst fear is of fear itself. I think it is true that fear is the opposite of love. Fear disables us, love enables us.

Hope for living an enabled life endures...

Kindest regards, Kristin

Just when i thought htings couldn't really get worse this week... More court stuff and now car problems and no money to fix. My ex just started paying some child support a month or so ago, but now isnt again and its going to take a while to follow up through child support and i just cant face doing all that either. I'm sure he's paying all his fancy lawyers rather than child support. i cant keep track of conversations with people and emailing only gets you so far. I have no idea how i'm going to get kids to kindy and school if car gets anyworse and I'm sure it will if I keep driving it. I am feeling so alone. I cant get into GP until next week, my psychologist is away this week and my one friend who lives nearby and i are having problems and its just too hard. I'm so tired and cant sleep at all even with the medications. Why cant the car have waited a few weeks! 😞 Not sure what the point of all this is or how to get through.

hello Lisajane,

Im sorry every thing has hit you all at one- car trouble is the worst 😞 Can you get a Nils loan from Anglicare to get repaires done?

Ive found the old saying "fake it untill you make it" works really well when you have to face family troubles at times ( court for example).

My advice for court: wake up nice and early, get showered, have a nice ironed shirt on and make sure you make time for your hair to be done how you like it, you will feel so much better. Stand tall and proud- write out notes for your self to either help you remember what you want or need to say. Or maybe a reminder note "big slow breath in" on a card to look at can help- court can be a very confronting place.

How will you be getting around with out a car? Is there a bus or train near you?

Baboo

No busses or trains here, as its a large country town. I think there is some sort of bus service but more for older people to get to the shops for shopping and home again. My daughters school has about 80 students. I chose it because its the smallest school around here and I thought that would suit her because she gets so anxious at times, but its right on the outskirts of town and now i think i've made life so much harder because i coudlnt keep working and decided to move here. Its just all so overwhelming. The car is running at the moment but sounds bad and doing weird things. i dont know about loans and im so tired and feel like such a pathetic loser that im not sure i can even ask for help anywhere. I hate the car too and its costing me a fortune the i have to pay for anyway but ex wont let me sell until settlement is done but he wont do anything towards settlement - all while he's earning 100k a year. I'm so tired of fighting him. he isnt allowed to harrass us personally because of the avo but can bully and make life a nightmare legally - its been constant over the last few years.

The court case is just a hearing this week as kids dad has requested unsupervised time and the judge will decide what to do now that the affadavits and responses have all been put in. i shouldnt have to speak but im terrified of the outcome. Im so worried that my ex will get unsupervised time with the children outside of the contact centre and wont handle it, or do something terrible and/or find out where we live from the kids etc. Life just seems like a never ending nightmare.

Lisajane, reading more about your situation now, i actually really do think a service like Anglicare would be a good help for you, the offer a range of support- i really recommend asking for a case worker from them, their fantastic- 1800 809 722.

You can always ask for help- theres nothing wrong asking for it at all- we all need a hand when were stressed out with 1000 things on our mind and tricky situations to deal with.

Do you have any support workers or services now? GP? Counsellors? Now i think is the time to get all your supports on board and make a good hard plan on getting you through the next few months.

Dearest @Former-Member

I hear you my friend, and I really feel for you. I'm a bit of a train wreck myself at the moment after only 3 hours sleep last night. I had a bit of a cry this morning when my Neami support worker was here. Thankfully she's great, and talking with her helped.

One question which might make a really big difference to you long term, and so be worth the effort (I do know what you mean about being squeezed every which way). If you aren't already (and it doesn't sound like it) then call child support and ask them to change over to them collecting. It's a bit of a pain as they are slow with paying - there's a delay between when they collect and when they pay you - but it means they will chase him if he doesn't pay. It takes a lot of pressure off you. I had to do it with my ex-husband for quite a long time as he used to play manipulative money games too.

The fire's lit, thinking it would be lovely if we could all have a bit of a chat around the fire.

Keep taking care of you - you're doing well in spite of incredibly difficult circumstances.

Hope for financial security endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

@Baboo I agree, I think this would be a help.

Can you please fix the forums - they're on full moderation ATM?

Cheers, Kristin