Overwhelmed

@Denisse. Check out the fact sheets on depression that Sane have.
Also have a look at beyondblue's website. They have some great information that may help you and your partner.
When I'm in a state of depression - my mind is only focused on my negative self talk. How terrible I am. How I'll never get better. That my life is pointless.
Family or friends can tell me otherwise - but my thoughts are strong.
@Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope. Are you both able to shed some light on this topic - from a carers perspective?

Okay @Denisse ...,, I am 32 years married to someone who has an anxiety disorder. It's becoming very clear that it is OCD, but this is / was all new territory to me, until he swung from being a morbidly obese workaholic to a manorexic - I use that term because the male version of anorexia focusses as much on muscle acquisition and excessive exercise as it does on b/p, restriction, and other forms of disordered relationship with food, environment and relationships ..... we are dealing with a bl%dy big octopus at thei stage.

BED ..... the recently categorised over-eating form of e.d. ..... and workaholism are both embedded in OCD.

What I have learned as a carer is this ..... the base problem is theirs ..... they have to move from the state of denial to a state where they can recognise their condition and what it is doing to their life management and relationships before anyone can help them. If you try to lend active support, or question, or push back a little, or anything other than just be there, you will be met with hostility and emotional aggression. This is not good for you.

To stay in this relationship will mean developing a support base for yourself, because yes, it has the power to undo your emotional health as well.

If you look up the Stages of Change model, which is applied to all sorts of issues including depression, eating disorders, addictions, etc ..... you will be able to see clearly that he is in the Pre-contemplative stage of the cycle, and where he has to progress to before meaningful change can occur. We have been stuck for 8 years in this stage with the manorexia, although my WH (hubby) has been in the BED form of an eating disorder for at least 25 years before that, although his childhood photos reveal a clear yoyo pattern, along with other members of his family.

I hope this provides you with a sense of support @Denisse, even if only to be heard by others who live the same problem in a different form, and understand what you are going through.

I have a family invested in my situation, which holds me to ransom to a degree (by choice, because I always have the option to leave, with all that entails in terms of consequences) but if I knew before what I know now, I would have disengaged, told him his mood swings were too much for me, but I cared deeply about him and hoped he would seek help for himself to not have to live that way .... and that I would be available as a friend to listen, but a relationship wasn't possible until he had engaged help for himself, out of my own self-respect. He is not truly available. He is already in a relationship, with his depression.