7.5 months ago I lost my wife after 36yrs.

Hi @Harro I am so very sorry to learn of your enormous loss. The grief and isolation can seem overwhelming, particularly early on, but there is a lot of support available and it sounds like you need to be connected to people who understand.

For immediate need:

• Lifeline 13 11 14
• Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

You may like to join SANE's Recovery Club https://www.sane.org/recovery-club

For grief counselling:

• Grief Australia: https://www.grief.org.au/ga/Support/Counselling.aspx
• NALAG: https://nalag.org.au

Any you can post to the members of the forum here any time.

Please let us know how you go.

Hey @Harro, and welcome to the forums 🪻. I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's passing, and the grief and loneliness you are now navigating. Your daughters visit weekly, and I hear how much they mean to you and how you want to keep going for them, but I can imagine how hard it would be when they go back to their homes :(.

So I'm very glad that you have found this forum and that you've felt able to post and I do hope that you will feel the support of the community during this time. @Radder has shared some wonderful other places that you can also reach out to, and I really encourage you to do so. Having connection and understanding is so important so you are not having to feel such loneliness alongside your grief. Please do feel welcome to introduce yourself over in our Welcome and Getting Started space, and say hi to some other members too, to keep building those connections 🌱.

@Harro Its early days in your grief journey. I have made different ways to connect with my loved ones who have passed over "to the other side". There are secular and sacred ways to think about it, but we all struggle with grief. I keep mementos, collections of photos and have a little area with candles, which is like my mini altar. It can be good to have something outside of oneself, so we can learn to shed some of the painful feelings, and see them outside of us, in an object that has meaning, and we dont have to carry as a burden.

Maybe you can give your beloved wife a birthday in the spirit? Get her favourite drink or food and eat it and "chat to her", in a symbolic way, so you can honour all your feelings of love, remembrance and celebrate the love you both had .... and feel the pain, if that is what comes up. Doing little ritual acts can help feelings from being stuck, and also feel revering and respoectful.

They say our loved ones are with us all the time - in our hearts and souls.

Hi Harro

36 years of marriage is quite an innings and that's so great you had all that time together. I lost my husband 10 years ago and it's a roller coaster of a recovery. I don't know if you're up to joining a mens group where you can have some company and talk about how you're feeling. I have my dog sitting next to me he hardly leaves my side. Do you have any pets? They are great comfort and good company. Wishing you all the best I understand the overwhelming sadness.