BPGuyNew Contributor
Navigating BPAD2 and intrusive suicidal thoughts
I just need to get this out of my head. Back in Jan 2022 I had my first significant suicide survival. During the time I had fallen into psychosis and had an out of body experience after weeks of what they diagnosed as acute suicidality. All I could think about literally was ending my life and how I would do it. Post attempt I was in hospital firstly for physical injuries then secondly my mental health. Subsequently I was diagnosed as having BPAD2 with MDD. I've endured DBT, CBT and ECT as part of my recovery. I still have suicidal thoughts though fleeting every single day however I no longer ruminate on them. I've lost most of my family with the highs and lows of BPAD2 and learning and accepting symptoms of BPAD2 while trying to manage my MDD. Whilst every moment I'm ok at the same time I'm not okay.
