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Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Hi everyone,

I am reaching out because I have been struggling with something that I find difficult to talk about openly, and I genuinely do not know what else to do.

I am 30 years old, married, and struggling with an addiction to pornography. No matter how many times I tell myself that I am going to stop, I keep finding myself going back to it. Every time I watch it, I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself, especially because I am married and know that this is not the kind of person I want to be.

The hardest part is that the more I try to stop, the more I seem to get sucked back into it. I make promises to God and myself, try to resist the temptation, and convince myself that I will not do it again. But somehow, I end up repeating the same cycle. Afterwards, I am left feeling guilty, frustrated, and wondering why I cannot seem to overcome something that I genuinely want to leave behind.

I feel trapped between wanting to change and repeatedly falling back into the same behaviour. It is affecting how I feel about myself, and I do not want this to become something that damages my marriage or my relationship with God.

I want to be free from this, not just for a few days or weeks, but genuinely free from the hold it seems to have over me. I am tired of making the same promises to myself and breaking them.

For those who have struggled with pornography addiction, especially those who are married or have approached this from a Christian perspective, I would really appreciate hearing your experiences.

What genuinely helped you break this cycle? How did you deal with the urges, the shame after falling back into it, and the feeling that you were never going to change? Were there practical steps, accountability, counselling, or spiritual disciplines that made a real difference?

I am not looking for judgement. I genuinely want help, guidance, and hope that change is possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

5 replies

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In response to: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Re: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Dear @AR ,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for your post. It takes a lot of strength to reach out and I can see this has been on your mind for a long time.

I want to acknowledge your openess and honesty in sharing what you are battling at the moment.

Is addiction something you experience in other areas beside pornography? Would there be similarities in managing addiction, despite it being a different type of addiction?

I look foward to hearing the insights of the community here.

In response to: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Re: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Hi @AR I never registered when Albo mandated age checks. And didn't sign up to a VPN. So my addiction was stifled by that

I don't want to upload I.D. to porn sites

In response to: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Re: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

@AR I have also experienced times in my life where this has taken over periodically. I have ADD. I’m wondering if you may also have similar traits? We struggle with craving dopamine spikes. We can easily get stuck in loops when there’s something we find pleasurable. It’s an easy imbalance of serotonin to dopamine.

Some ways to increase serotonin are to get outside and get sunlight, exercise and a diet focusing on balanced meals.

I broke the cycle by realising this isn’t actually achieving anything and the more I do it the more I want it. We become desensitised to the pleasure signals in our brain and need to seek more and more to get the same “hit”.

Sleep, regular balanced, low sugar diet with high fiber and protein is important for impulse control.

Self compassion helps. Seeing yourself as just someone who is struggling right now, finding a way to move from pain towards pleasure. We all do it. We are built to be driven by this instinct til we find more pain in the pleasure we are seeking.

No judgement. It’s no different to an addiction to food or alcohol or gambling.

Just the body trying to recalibrate itself.

Condemning yourself is only going to compound the shame.

Nothing shameful about wanting to feel good. We just have to find another substitute that leaves us feeling good long term.

In response to: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Re: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Thanks @BAO for your response.

pornography is the only area in my life where I completely lose self control and any ounce of confidence that I can actually stop. It’s been eating away at me for almost 10 years and the more I try to stop the deep I get sucked into it.

it’s gotten to a point where it has started affecting my marriage and my wife doesn’t know if she can stay with me because of this.

In response to: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Re: Struggling with Porn Addiction and Feeling Trapped in a Cycle I Cannot Break

Thanks mate. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and what you’re saying makes sense.

move been trying it but on some days my mind just can switch off from thinking about it and I end up watching it anyway after doing everything to avoid watching it.

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