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Friendships

123456789New Contributor11 Oct 2026, 5:39 pm AEDT

Friendships

I’m worried I’m the problem/ a victim mindset. I don’t think I’m good at just hanging out with people. I would love friends that I can just pop in for a cuppa with but every new person I’ve met or got close to lately either lives miles away or old friends only show up for big events. I know I have a problem hanging onto weird things people have said and I probably blow them up in my head but I feel like I do try to get passed them/ ignore them and keep reaching out. But I just feel really lonely or I try to be consistent in showing up for things but then I get burned out and sick. I feel like I may have sabotaged so safe ish connections by pushing a point with someone who isn’t so safe. And I feel like I’m just going to die alone and like I don’t trust people and that when people get intimate I freak out or I’m so desperate to be seen that I don’t listen to others. Or I try to remember small details about people but then when it comes time to show that life happens and I miss it.

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In response to: Friendships

BAOModerator11 Oct 2026, 5:44 pm AEDT

Re: Friendships

Makes sense @123456789 , I'm sure you are not alone.

For some, it can be a way to protect themselves, after they have experienced some challenges in the past. For others, is may be personality - they just don't feel as comfortable interacting.

I can see you are reflecting on your friendships.

One thing I've learnt over the years - friendship and risk go hand in hand. If you want the joy of friendships, then there must be an element of risktaking.

All the best.

Just know you are not alone in feeling this way.

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