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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

How to navigate being alienated from children when your a loving father and mother just upd and left never to return

graincockyNew Contributor03 Oct 2026, 5:36 pm AEST

How to navigate being alienated from children when your a loving father and mother just upd and left never to return

My friend is currently navigating legal proceedings around property and childrens access.

he is being allienated by the mother if their children and is trying everything and anything to sell up his farm and not allow access to his children aged 9 and 6.

false allegations have been made and he just wants everything to stop. He is stressed to the max and isnt coping mentally and at times physically inwell too.

his ex is even trying to subpoena any past counsellors he has in the past as he has ptsd and abi from a very traumatic farm accident 15 yrs ago. They were married for 20 yrs. He is even to scared to allow himself to be in a relationship with me because of fear it will affect the legalities around divorce property and access to his beautiful children. So our relationship is secret and no one knows about me. I am his biggest supporter and has a few family members. He told me today that he thinks this will get the better of him. And that i should cut ties with him for my mental health and well being. Of course i said no that wont happen. Looking for coping strategies for him and how i can help him through this very tough and traumatic time at present.

2 replies

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In response to: How to navigate being alienated from children when your a loving father and mother just upd and left never to return

BAOModerator04 Oct 2026, 9:33 am AEDT

Re: How to navigate being alienated from children when your a loving father and mother just upd and left never to return

Dear @graincocky ,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for taking the time to post.

I hear your concerns and how worried you are about your friend.

At this time, I hope you can both feel supported. You may be interested in connecting with SANE's RecoveryClub as you navigate these challenges. You can have a look here: https://www.sane.org/recovery-club

Also, the Family Relationship Advice line may be helpful too for your friend: https://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/talk-someone/advice-line

Please look after yourself at this time. I certainly sounds so challenging

In response to: How to navigate being alienated from children when your a loving father and mother just upd and left never to return

RadderSenior Contributor04 Oct 2026, 4:39 pm AEDT

Re: How to navigate being alienated from children when your a loving father and mother just upd and left never to return

Hi @graincocky,

The situation you describe sounds very difficult and stressful as divorces often are, especially with children involved.

It's important you look after your own mental health first - you can better help him if you are in a good state yourself. I'm sure this forum can provide advice on that if you want.

I'd suggest that knowledge is power, it will better equip you to support him.

The most important thing to be addressed first is his safety. The situation puts men at greater risk of suicide, and his comment "he thinks this will get the better of him" and urging you to disengage reinforces this concern. However, don't panic over this - it's common for some people to have thoughts of suicide in difficult situations but fortunately fewer people carry it out. The most important thing is to surface any thoughts and get appropriate support - there is a lot out there. The best way to do this is to ask directly if he is having thoughts of suicide - the research shows that this will not give him the idea if he hasn't considered it before.

This guide will help you:

https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/topics/suicide#for-friends-family-suicide

Services you can connect him with:

His G.P.
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline: 1300 78 99 78 (can probably also help find peer support groups of other dads).
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue Counselling: 1300 22 4636
000 Police or Ambulance if there is immediate danger and he isn't safe.
Farmer mental health: https://areyouboggedmate.com.au
Roses in the Ocean Warmline: https://rosesintheocean.com.au/peer-care-companion-warmline/

You can also call these services for advice and support yourself.

Re coping, grounding can provide relief from distress in the moment:

https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/techniques-and-guides/finding-relief-through-grounding-techniques

Please let us know your thoughts/needs, and keep us updated.

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