CameraGuy75New Contributor
Struggling mentally due to uncertainty and outside influence in my marriage
My Wife and I have been together for 10 years, we have a blended family no kids together.
We have both come from abusive relationships, so we are both very headstrong
I have been recently made redundant from my job, and while the payout will keep us going for a few months its been stressful on us both. I'm currently seeing a psychologist for anxiety and childhood trauma, which has been helpful
My wife also lost a close relative, which put her in a situation where she needed to be around her parents who she cut ties with years ago, leading to more stress.
My wife has a best friend, who over the last 18 months split with her partner, and has someone started what I would say is a man hate campaign. doesnt matter who it is, she hates them. She is also an extreme drinker. My wife who barely drank now regularly goes for drinks and comes back completely hammered and abusive. Very hard to watch that change, and as someone who rarely drinks due to not feeling comfortable around drunk people, its an extra challenge
Recently, said friend, has been inserting her opinion on how my marriage should work. I know this as she has not only verbally come at me and told me so, but when drunk, she mistakenly texts me instead of my wife
She will say things like
Only have sex with him to see if you don't hate him
You should kick him out, just make sure you take the settlement money first
He is lazy and he just wants you to work like all men do
You should get on Tinder like I do, and have some fun, he doesnt need to know
Men are the causes of all women's MentyB's (apparently that means Mental Breakdown)
She has text so much more while under the influence its crazy. She is almost like the tough kid that sits on the back of the bus, and riles up the others
My wife and I do have our disagreements, we always seems to come to a common goal in the end through time and conversations, but she will then talk to her friend, and the whole thing is turned on its head and we are back to square 1 with it being worse than before
I feel I cannot bring this up to my wife, that her friend is toxic, as she will feel like she has to pick sides. But the constant flip flop is sending my anxiety through the roof and I am not sure of how to communicate with my wife to show her none of this is healthy
Would love advice or opinions on how to make a healthy boundary and communicate that things are not healthy with the 'third wheel' involved
