Mostly a Vent since I’m not sure what else to do

Hi everyone, some context:

Me (Sunmoonwolf) and my boyfriend Z have been together for a little over three months now. We are long distance with near polar opposite timezones (his nightime is my daytime).

My relationship with Z started off amazing, he was incredibly sweet kind and reassuring but over the last few weeks he’s become very closed off and moody. He won’t talk to me about why the sudden change happened and I don’t want him to feel like he cant tell me what’s going on. Hes mentioned previously that he has ‘something’ (a disorder of some kind) that has a high death rate. I did inquire about this but again he shut down, from observing and doing some research I believe it’s some form of mental disorder which can cause mood swings and erratic behaviour. (Not confirmed and I don’t treat it like I know what’s going on because I don’t) I’ve tried to confirm or deny my suspicions but he won’t say a thing about it. Our relationships come to the point in which I have to ask him to say he loves me back when I say I love you and my sister finds this really concerning. Knowing he has something going on I’m not sure whether to confront this or to let it go for now, especially since when I did confront his behaviour changes he didn’t take anything seriously and laughed at me, which caused the argument. Everyday is different but some nights if I catch him in a good mood it feels like I’m talking to the man I fell in love with again instead of a brick wall, I think that’s why I cant seem to get past this is because I just want to love him and for him to love me the way we did before. We still talk about random things after the disagreement a few days ago but it doesn’t feel right. I don’t know what else to do to get my sweet boy back, and it’s killing me.

Today I was online with my sister as I normally am to try pass the time. And Z showed behaviour he previously would, for example asking to match pfps (I agreed and did so) calling me pet names and saying he loves me. And I melted, it felt so amazing I cried. But then I put my phone down for an hour and when I got back he was pissed. He unmatched our pfps had sent me glaring gifs, typed out mean messages about how he should ‘just go’ or whatever and I’m not sure what to do about that. I apologised for not having seen his messages and asked what happened and if he was okay. And as expected he shut down said ‘it’s fine’ or ‘wtv’ so I tried to change the subject and then he left for a bit. Later on I’m back to playing with my sister and then I log off and close all my apps (discord will show others whose online and what games they’re playing if you have it open like I did). All of a sudden I get spammed with ‘honey? Are you okay??’ And calls and spam and it’s just overwhelming. I’m not sure what triggered that and yet again I tried to ask him what was wrong. He shut down. I went to do something for my mother and misspelled my words like ‘oksy I’m gping’ like I normally do since I struggle with seeing letters in the correct order. And then he starts spamming me again ‘STOP WITH THE DRUGS STOP COME BACK’. I’ve never done non prescribed drugs, I’ve never even suggested that I would. So again not sure what the hell went wrong.

We get over it I again apologise and then he just says ‘oh nth’ and leaves.

What the hell is happening? One minute I’d see my sweet boy texting me and the next it’s crazy behaviour. I don’t know what’s wrong and I don’t how else to help, I text him everyday telling him I love him and I hope he has a good day. I’m near always available and at the hint something could be off I check on him. Even through all the arguing and stress I still love him, or the non crazy part. I find myself becoming more and more stressed anxious and depressed as this behaviour continues. When I asked him out I promised to myself I would love him nonconditionally, as that’s something I feel like I should do for the one I love, but I’m struggling and I don’t know how to get past this when he won’t tell me what’s wrong.

All I want is for him to be okay and for us to get back on track for the healthy relationship we wanted together, but I feel like we’re drifting apart. What else can I do? And how do I stop myself from hurting myself in trying to cater to him when he’s in his bad moods?

Long rant, for context we’re both men, I’m trans FTM And have been struggling with Graves’ disease and menstrual cycles so I feel extra exhausted.

Thanks everyone