Jealous of sane people

And now I’m up at 4am with a full moon overthinking my life and feeling paranoid they’ll find this post. How awful

Hi @anonymoususer, I’m sorry you’re feeling so isolated and left out, especially after having to come home early from your holiday. It sounds like you really miss your friends and would love to hear about their trip and feel connected to them.

I can understand why your mind might be telling you that they don’t want to talk to you because of your bipolar, but that may not necessarily be what’s happening. There could be lots of reasons they haven’t reached out, and it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you or see you differently because of your illness

It sounds like you’re already trying to reality test those thoughts, which is really positive. I hope you’re able to give yourself some reassurance while you wait to hear from them, and that you get the chance to reconnect with your friends soon 💛

Thank you - reality testing and challenging thoughts has been really good for my paranoia. I’m just feeling so isolated even though I have support. Like we don’t even have to talk about the trip - I just want to hear your voice on a phonecall…….. there is so much confusion about what bipolar actually is because I’m back to my baseline mood - even driving my car which I could never do years ago. People care about me and I am lucky to have support but yeah, this illness sucks.

Hi @anonymoususer

It really sucks that you had to end your holiday early because of your mental illness. I’m sorry that people haven’t reached out to you. Hopefully their just busy and will get back to you soon. It’s hard being the mentally ill one. Are you seeing a mental health professional? They might be able to help you reality test as well. I can hear that you’re feeling isolated and alone. What happen when you try to reach out? Are your friends always busy?

Yep they’re alway busy with their own lives which I completely understand because I’m busy with my own world too. I’ve messaged all of them asking to connect but they’re confused thinking I may still be manic. Seeing my psychologist tomorrow luckily - looking forward to her perspective

@anonymoususer I’m glad to hear that the reality testing and challenging those thoughts has been helpful for you. Sometimes it’s not about needing someone to fix anything, you just want to hear a familiar voice and feel connected to the people you care about.

It sounds like you’ve made some really positive progress too, I hope you can give yourself some credit for how far you’ve come

It can be frustrating when other people don’t necessarily understand that being back at your baseline doesn’t mean you don’t still need connection or support. It sounds like you’re doing your best to navigate a really difficult illness, and it’s okay to acknowledge that sometimes it just really sucks.

Hang in there 💛