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Confused & desperate

MrsAch263New Contributor17 Sept 2026, 10:29 pm AEST

Confused & desperate

Hi I’m new and I don’t know where to start. My husband is going through a lot. He has a combination of trauma and possibly a variety of mental health issues plus other health crises going on.

Everyday is like riding an emotional roller coaster. I want to be there for him, but he is not only pushing me away with his behaviour but I think he feels a lot of shame and sadness around his behaviour. So he often chooses to be angry and push me away rather than sad or ashamed. All the advice is leave him, but I love him and want for him to get a real treatment plan.

So here I am because I am desperate to find anyone who understands what I’m going through. Who understands what it feels like to go to bed at the end of everyday to a spiralling husband who having meltdowns on a daily basis. I’m left with whiplash and with no one to turn to.

4 replies

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In response to: Confused & desperate

BAOModerator17 Sept 2026, 10:37 pm AEST

Re: Confused & desperate

Dear @MrsAch263 ,

Welcome to the forums. Please know you are not alone. It sounds like a really tough situation where you are riding an emotional roller coaster.

I'm glad you have reached out to the community. I look forward to reading the community's contributions and insights.

In response to: Confused & desperate

HarlanNew Contributor19 Sept 2026, 6:11 pm AEST

Re: Confused & desperate

Hey there sounds like a tricky situation and seems to be over being so thought I just reach out and offer someone new to chat if you need time to take your mind off of things for awhile

In response to: Confused & desperate

burntoutwifeNew Contributor20 Sept 2026, 7:42 pm AEST

Re: Confused & desperate

I’ll first say, i just found info about this group on the wall at the mental health facility my husband is having a in patient stay at.

I totally understand what your going through, we have had a very rough time the last few years especially the last 12 months, is your husband willing to talk to any one as in any health professionals ?

i honestly have never felt so burnt out as i do now :( i feel grateful he has finally gotten on board and gone in to hospital . i think if he didn’t i would of left him for sure . i have had some really tough discussions with him and have set some boundaries . i don’t know if this is possible for you but in the last month i have been at breaking point so i just thought if i dont do something i am going to fall apart and that helps no one . I feel so alone at times as his family give no support to him or me . it’s very strange as my family is the opposite . i hope it helps to know you are not the only wife going through this , i hope you feel you can reach out again even if it’s just to have a rant i know that helps me at times even if its just for a day

In response to: Confused & desperate

LunamagnoliaCasual Contributor27 Sept 2026, 10:54 am AEST

Re: Confused & desperate

Hi,

I know how challenging an confusing It is to be in this situation. I decided to step away in order to protect myself and my son. I feel it was the best decision I have ever made. The guilt in the beginning is crushing, but as time pass you can start to have your mind again and see how this situation is beyond your capabilities. You are only human.

I know the advise "leave him" feels unhuman, but if you don't protect yourself you will just end up sick as well.

Protecting yourself is a way of helping them. Find as much support as you can and take care of yourself.

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