My dad passed away and my life fell apart

@Moosebegoose

Welcome to the forum. Its not too long a post.

That is not a long time ago. Grief takes its bittersweet time to process. There are youtubes and things online to help, but a lot of it is about being relational with human beings. Finding ways to hold the memories with loyalty, without being fully triggered into the whole pain of losing your father. Dealing with the reality of your mother's situation is tough and would accumulate the sense of grief.

It can be hard to find new social connections. I have found it really difficult to do.

What are some of your interests, or new things that could attract you?

I am probably neurodivergent too.

Cats can help. lol I am a cat person.... and other critters.

Hi there,

Thank you for your reply. I’m glad to see cat people!

I love reading (anything really); crafting (knitting, crochet, playing with paper, making balloon garlands). I also love meeting new people and learning their stories.

I’m sorry to hear that you find social connection difficult too. What are the things you find difficult? Have you spoken to a doctor about ADHD?

Hi @Moosebegoose

Welcome to the Sane forums. It's nice to meet you.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It is very hard losing a parent, especially one that you were very close too. It also saddens me to hear about your mum. Dementia is such a horrific disease to watch someone slowly suffer from.

It sounds like you have some wonderful memories of them both.

My Dad passed away many years ago now after a long battle with a chronic illness. Both him and my mum were living with me at the time. I was very close to my Dad, he was my hero in many ways. He was like the glue in our family. They lost some money with a bad investment and used the rest on my fathers illness. My mother is now in a nursing home with Dementia. It got to the point where I couldn't give her the 24hours care she needed.

I wish it could tell you it gets easier but I can't. I wish I could give you a quick fix, but unfortunately life isn't like that. Of course I have my good days and bad days too.

I do know that it is extremely hard to watch someone you love slowly succumb to Dementia. You never know what you're going to experience when you go visit them.

I really hope you are able to start seeing someone soon. I realise it won't be the answer to everything, but at least it might be help. I'm also not sure if you have ever been in touch with Dementia Australia. I have found their helpline very useful at times. It has helped just to get things out.

I don't know if what I've written will help at all but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Snowie

Hi Snowie,

Thank you for your reply.

You are correct with your comments on Dementia. It's awful watching someone suffer from it. One of my Aunts also has it, she is not at the same stage as my mum yet though.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dad too. It isn't easy. There are times where I wish I could call him and hear his voice; or to ask him a question.

I never realised Dementia Australia had a helpline. I will check it out. I appreciate you recommending this to me.

There is a quote, and I refer to it often: Grief never leaves you, we learn to grow around it instead.

Thanks again and have a good day. :)

Thanks for sharing Moose and sorry for what you have gone through. Caring for those who brought you into this world and provided the support, teaching and guidance is tough. Losing them is not easy and relate. Have struggled myself and in the last year sort help and in early stages of finally finding peace. With my estate I purchased a property and it has been tough with certain outside factors so understand the feeling of not having a solid place to feel safe or belong. I like to help others and draw upon giving that help to better improve my perspective and self confidence or purpose. my goal is regain that purpose and confidence I have let slip by doing that. I want to say that you are not inferior, you have been super helpful, reliable and dependable. You had things happen out of your control. Find your feet again, reconnect with new people or touch base with those people you knew. To me you sound like someone with some great values and skills to help others out. Get formal training and continue to help people like your parents. The expected and unexpected results could help your situation in a lot of ways. Not trying to tell you what to do but maybe it can help give you something to think about even if it is just one of the stuff I have replied with. Little steps but you sound like you have an important part to play as hard as it is now. I like words too and hope mine have been appropriate to aid in your journey forward. Big love