Stressed Husband

Does she have any professional supports? I sounds like things are a bit hectic @Anonymous8888 .

I hear how much you love her, but at the same time, some of the behaviours are getting a bit out of control?

Yes, she has a psychiatrist that she sees on a regular basis. We had a phone appointment last week and have adjusted her medication. Next week she has another appointment

@Anonymous8888 unfortunately medication can be a bit trial-and-error.

Medication usually managed the symptoms, but in most cases psychotherapy in parallel helps.

See also https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/families-friends-carers

This is a huge load for you to take on, especially when you don't have support from any nearby family. Do you have any children? It's natural to feel drained and exhausted have to shoulder this burden. You may have to consider restricting her access to credit cards, otherwise it will overwhelm you. Is there an option to get her into some kind of full time care, even temporarily to give you some respite from this?

Hello @Anonymous8888 and welcome to the forums!

I was diagnosed with both schizophrenia and bipolar - its called schizoaffective disorder.

To manage my budget I use a spending tracker that Jess Irvine, finance editor for The Age suggests which she uses herself. Its a free download - its just a table and you print it out and log your purchases. I keep it by my computer so I dont spend unless I need to. I think having it written down has made me less likely to spend when in a manic phase in the past. It has served me well over the years and I have never got into financial trouble. You can download it here:

https://www.moneywithjess.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Spending-Tracker-Money-with-Jess.pdf

Another thing I could recommend you try is to buy magnesium oil for your wife to apply topically to her skin in a manic or depressive stage. There has been lots of research done into magnesium oil or transdermal magnesium its called, on bipolar on the internet. I have used it successfully to bring me down from a high and up from a low. I have it in my first aid toolkit and can say its highly effective. The brand I use is Ancient Minerals which is tested for purity and contains no heavy metals. I dont know about other brands on the market but this one is guaranteed potency and is endorsed by a doctor who writes extensively about it. I use it topically as opposed to oral magnesium pills as the uptake is a lot greater and the skin will only absorb what the body needs. You dont have to worry about using too much, your body is able to regulate the absorption of what it needs

I live with chronic fatigue syndrome so its hard getting things done around the house. When you are in a mess I think the state of your house can overwhelm the fear centres of the brain so you dont take on big chores. I found a Japanese philosophy of getting things done called "Kaizen" its used in big industries to psychology clinical settings and to the average householder. Its relevant to everyone. I found a gorgeous book several years ago on Kaizen. It was a talking book off youtube which is free and a totally uplifting and empowering book. I just use the ideas to tackle my house in manageable chunks. Its how I stay on top of housecleaning and managing my storage room. Small bite sized incremental steps changed my life. You and your wife might be interested in this book

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHkOFs67d9A&t=213s

Finally I would like to mention that I follow the treatment protocols in these books for mental illness from these two books by author, Anthony William - "Brain Saver" and "Brain Saver Protocols" I did similar protocols many years before these books became available with lots of success. People were asking why I had no symptoms. I have now gone on to use better treatments from these books. There is lots of testimony around the globe about how its healed them of various mental illnesses. While its not currently known as an evidence based treatment it has been regarded by many doctors as medicine 30 years ahead of its time. It works for me. My MI symptoms used to be quite severe but now have been in remission since I started protocols

I sensed you were at the end of your tether and have provided this in the hope it can get things moving for you and your wife. I wish you every success and for your wife to enjoy a good recovery as she deserves to be well and enjoy life once again.

Best wishes and good luck!

Have you talked to her? I have bipolar too and understand that you may not want to say anything as you think she cant help it and may be fragile, but when a person's behaviour is causing you issues, you have to sit down and talk to her and let her know how this is impacting your mental health.

I know what are you going through. It's extremely draining and crushing on your soul. You should probably talk with her mental health team and highlight how she is not coping in a daily basis and probably consider hospitalisation until she is stable again with medication. My ex would not even eat and lose lots of weight in a matter of days. Unfortunately they need 24/7 supervision when they get to this point and it's not a task you or family can deal with. Once she is stable again I would serious consider a serious talk about money and how to separate finances for in case of a manic episode she doesn't spend it. They can't control once they are manic. They just buy stuff as they feel it. So take protective measures before hand when she stable and you can talk and find middle ground.