Relationship issue.

Hi @damo177, it's very wise you reached out to discuss such a very important issue.

Open communication is key, and you've been attempting that. Communication leads to understanding.

It sounds like it's about finding the right support for your gf too, but ultimately she needs to want to participant. Either individual counselling for her, or joint counselling. Think about it as maintenance/exercise to keep both of you, and your relationship, healthy.

Perhaps try https://www.relationships.org.au too.

Ditto to @Radder . Have you had a chance to talk to her about how you feel? @damo177 

Honey, this is actually a lot more normal than you probably realise. ❤️

After three years together, especially when you’re young and have grown into adulthood alongside each other, it’s very easy for sex to become routine. The same moves, the same rhythm, the same expectations can eventually stop feeling exciting, and that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s no longer attracted to you or that there’s something wrong with either of you.

Instead of assuming that she doesn’t want you, try talking to her about what she actually enjoys. Ask her what turns her on, what she might like to try, and whether there’s anything she’s been curious about but hasn’t felt comfortable bringing up. Sometimes intimacy needs a little reinvention.

There’s another possibility too. Hormonal contraception can affect libido for some women, as can stress, anxiety, depression, medication, exhaustion, or a whole host of other things. So I wouldn’t automatically interpret a change in her sex drive as a rejection of you.

Most importantly, though, please don’t measure your worth by how often your girlfriend wants sex. I know rejection can hurt like hell, but her libido isn’t a scorecard for your attractiveness or your value as a partner.

You’re only 19. Three years feels like an enormous amount of time at your age, but you have so much life and love and learning ahead of you. Whatever happens with this relationship, this isn’t evidence that you’re destined to be unwanted or unhappy. ❤️

it may be hard, but you need to talk to her and ask her. It could be that she is having some issues. Depression can cause a loss of sex drive. It could also be some sort of physical issue or sexual dystfunction. A lot of people dont like talking about that at any age, but its even harder when you are really young and feel everything should be working properly.

Dont assume that its an issue with you. If everything else in the relationship seems good except physical intimacy, then it's most likely an issue with her.

It's best to ask her

Hi@damo177

Could your gf be under some sort of stress or worry? I would gently ask her if there is anything that is stressing or worrying her?

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I feel your pain. I know it feels like rejection and that really hurts, but it's not actually about you. I recommend you do some google searches to read up about the differences between male and female desire. I'm in a similar situation, and I have been reading and watching many youtube videos. Some are rubbish, but there are some good bits of into out there. I found value in the wisdom of a woman in the UK called Laura How. (just google her, you'll find her pretty quickly) She's a counsellor and the way she explains things makes so much sense.

I'm still yet to find the right time to talk to my wife, but I want to be sure that when I do that I get it right and for her to understand how it's affecting me.

When you do talk to her about it. Don't make the focus about the actual physical act, but about how you feel.

I hope you both can work through it and re-ignite that spark you both deserve.

Good luck.