Needing some advice/support as alienated mother of adult son on ITO and believing I am the enemy

Hi @SE7EN

That's a very tough and distressing situation to be in, especially for us parents. You are not alone, and hopefully others in this forum will see this discussion and contribute.

An ITO can be very disempowering and stressful for the patient, but it's also sometimes very necessary.

Unfortunately, as an adult, your son's health journey is not within your control. You can only now do what is within your control to maintain your best possible state to help him if he seeks support in the future (especially once he is properly medicated - many people live with psychosis quite well). He may also need advocacy because the mental health system is overloaded, far from perfect, and sometimes doesn't provide the comprehensive treatment people deserve.

Some suggestions:

• Look after your own mental health first, perhaps seek counselling. Apart from the upset of dealing with the situation, you are likely to also be grieving the potential loss of relationship and hopes for his future.
• Explore resources like https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/explore-all-resources, especially https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/families-friends-carers
• Educate yourself about psychosis and the mental health system. Knowledge is power.
• If he hears voices, perhaps look into lived experience peer support e.g. https://www.unitingvictas.org.au/services/mental-health/hearing-voices-support/. One participant on their course that I did was a mother in a similar situation to you. She seemed to gain much benefit and comfort from learning a more positive approach to hearing voices, and learnt her son wasn't "crazy" (perhaps aided by the fact that the "normal" instructors and some other participants were voice hearers themselves).
• If he reconnects, listening to how he is feeling without judgement or trying to convince him of reality is key. https://psychosisaustralia.com.au/about-psychosis/

Eleanor Longden's 14 minute Ted Talk is an inspiring reminder that people with severe mental health issues can recovery and be successful in life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syjEN3peCJw

Hi @SE7EN ,

Seeing a loved one having a mental health crisis is very difficult. It's even harder when they don't know how sick they are. Yes I have a brother who has psychotic disorder with paranoid delusions who went missing and we needed to file a missing report. When police found him he told them that he didn't want us contacting him which was hard. At least we knew he was safe even though he didn't want contact with us and didn't want mental help either. This is the illness doing the talking. You have done nothing wrong. I know it's hard and you feel like your hands are tied. At least he's not on the streets and he is getting treatment. Give him time to stabilise and maybe call the nurses and ask how he is going rather than talking directly to him. Take a step back and see how things unfold. If you are able to get support for yourself that would be good too.