Unable to cope anymore with traumatic experience

Hi all

I have gotten to a point of my life where I thought when I was younger I was carefree and happy

Only to realise I was escaping the violence, abuse and drugs going on at home

I couldn't concentrate at school so they thought I was dumb (I believed)

I let people control me, abuse me and I wasnt great with friends.

I used drugs to help me be happy then stopped when I had kids ( not touched in decades)

But I still let people walk all over me.

I a have to go through court for a ex business decision and nothing to do with me. I could lose everything I have built

My car literally just caught in flames to only realise later the insurance slipped through because I wasn't dealing with court stuff.

I am numb, I have no joy in life, and now freak out if I have to do anything or even spend money.

I don't know where to start to get myself back.

I have also been diagnosed with mid-high ADHD and low autism (sensory issues).