I've struggled my whole life

My whole life I have felt like an alien, I can't interact with people easily but am often forced to through work and just life in general. It feels like everybody has an instruction manual for life and I have to guess at what the correct action or choice is and often get it wrong. I am in my 30's and have struggled with depression and anxiety as long as I can remember and only feel myself when I self-isolate. I struggle holding jobs as I get completed burnt out after a few months and it always culminates in physical health problems due to stress. I think of suicide as a casual solution to any problem I face and have lost the desire to do things that I usually enjoy. I look for jobs because that is what is expected of an adult, but often self-sabotage myself by not responding to job interview invites as the anxiety of burning out again becomes overwhelming. My friends (online) have suggested that I look into a possible Autism/ADHD diagnosis but I first want to find a good psychologist/psychiatrist as one I had in the past was not helpful and seemingly only wanted to get as much money out of me as possible. I live in Melbourne *removed by moderator* and am looking for recommendations of a good mental health professional either around that area or on telehealth. I have never made a forum post about my mental health struggles before and am sorry this post is so long, but I feel lost and would really appreciate some advice. Thank you.