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Managing relationships

Pretty done

FoxMcCloud_64Casual Contributor

Pretty done

Been married over a decade and some and since the beginning of April have tried to end the marriage. I want out because they are just really mean. To me, to our kids. Like every day I have to defend what I do and how I use my time. We've been in therapy and it's been up and down. I lodged a police report about her too and they are gutted, says I betrayed their trust but I had to do it because they just wouldn't stop with rage and such anger where they would cause my autistic children to become suicidal. Saying things like you've ruined this or straight up shut up and stop being annoying is like the lightest of what is said and the kids have rejection sensitivity and they demand that kids and I not be so sensitive and often manipulate everyone to get their way. I just can't stay and she's accused me of everything from cheating to using weaponized incompetence to manipulate. Truth is I fear them and being near them triggers such anxiety I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. I don't totally know what to do. I have to get out but can't seem to find work and can't seem to make really any positive changes towards leaving. It's been so tough

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In response to: Pretty done

tymeModerator

Re: Pretty done

HI @FoxMcCloud_64 ,

Thank you for your post. I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. It sounds like you have done whatever you can do repair things but it just doesn't seem to work.

Have you contacted 1800RESPECT before? They may be able to provide you with some additional advice. https://1800respect.org.au/

Do you have any support around you? You deserve to be supported.

If you feel unsafe at any time, please contact:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Emergency 000

I'll be sending you a quick email.

In response to: Re: Pretty done

FoxMcCloud_64Casual Contributor

Re: Pretty done

I have been in contact with 1800respect and it's tough. On the one hand what's happening doesn't breach the threshold of abuse for like a court case but on the other it's definitely emotional abuse at the slightest. Tonight they said they missed me and wanted things to go back to what they were but also wanted me to not judge them. Which I'm struggling not too.

In response to: Re: Pretty done

tymeModerator

Re: Pretty done

Do you have professionals you can speak to about ways to move forward in a way that works for you and your children @FoxMcCloud_64 ?

In response to: Re: Pretty done

FoxMcCloud_64Casual Contributor

Re: Pretty done

Yeah, it's still moving. Just going really slow. We're in therapy as a couple and then in therapy myself while also looking for therapy for the kids. We're currently on a wait list

In response to: Re: Pretty done

tymeModerator

Re: Pretty done

Do the kids go to school? Can they get support through school if they attend @FoxMcCloud_64 ? It's a lot to hold on our own, and for them too.

In response to: Re: Pretty done

FoxMcCloud_64Casual Contributor

Re: Pretty done

Yeah, they have some wellbeing coordinators so that's been helpful but it's still a huge adjustment really and they are slowing understanding that things between parents aren't quite right so it's been challenging.

In response to: Re: Pretty done

tymeModerator

Re: Pretty done

I hope you all get the support you need @FoxMcCloud_64 . It sounds like a very difficult time.

What do you do to help you relax? Are there things you enjoy that can give you a bit of a break?

I'm glad to hear your children are linked in with wellbeing and being supported by them.

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