OCD and ADHD-Feel like a failure

Hi @Sandevistan ,

We are sorry to hear how hard things have been for you.

It sounds like there are a lot of thoughts going through your mind right now and I'm sure the community would love to support you.

In line with community guidelines, are you able to Tell the Community What you Need?

That is, are you hoping for the community to provide insights, share experiences, hold space for you?

What are things that you enjoy doing in life?

@tyme Hi tyme, I guess I was just after some validation and empathy here. I have blaming myself for what I would call “the catastrophe”, but I’ve simce realised it was a failure of the medical system and I’m very upset and angry about it. I have a very supportive psychologist, but no friends and my family don’t understand and tend to invalidate my struggles.

Hi @Sandevistan

As someone who also experienced OCD and ADHD I can definitely relate to how you’re feeling. OCD is so tough. It’s exhausting and can often feel inescapable. It’s never too late to treat it though. I’m sorry to hear that the ADHD treatment made things worse.

It’s really hard to not mourn/think about the life you could have had if things would have gone differently. But at the same time, I think it’s important to remember that it’s possible to create a life worth living. It takes time, but it is possible. Getting through 12 months of agoraphobia is really impressive. It shows great strength.

It’s understandable to be angry at the system. It fails so many people. I’m glad you have a psychologist you can talk to though. I hope that things improve for you soon and that you can find support here. The community is here for you.

@Lapis_Anteater Thank you, it’s always nice to hear from people with similiar experiences. You must also be a strong resilient person to be here now with ADHD and OCD supporting others who are going through the same things. I keep having doubts about my ADHD medication and my OCD, but I do think overall it’s helped my OCD by providing the mental clarity and executive functioning to redirect from intrusived doubts and reducing the noise in my brain. Where they worsened it was when my antidepressant dosage was too low for me and I’d hyperfocus all day on one thought. Now I’m just sitting in the aftermath of it as I recover, but from speaking to my GP again today I’ve realised that I’ve been falling for one of OCD’s cruelest tricks-“the back door spike” -using all the wreckage and feeling better doing exposures as “proof” to suck me back in to loops that I’m really a bad person and chose to suffer and affect work and family with my compulsive reassurance seeking. I will bounce back, I always do and feeling grateful that I can share my story and hopefully help other people as well. I think the system partly failed me, but I’m fortunate to have still gotten there in the end.

Hi @Sandevistan just a quick tip - you can notify other members to ensure they can see you've responded by tagging them. Using the @ symbol, you can choose their name from the dropdown, or type their username until it appears, then select it so their username appears in blue.

@Lapis_Anteater I believe the above post is for you 😊

Thanks @Jynx, I’ll definitely make sure I @ them 😊

Hey @Sandevistan , that sounds incredibly tough to do it alone. It's not easy at all. I have ADHD, and even then, I have to try so hard to work around the challenges of it. I'm glad you have a supportive psychologist.

What are things you enjoy doing that keep you going? Or things you like doing in your free time?

I really hope the connection and support on the forums here will support you in your recovery journey.

Hi @Sandevistan

It’s great to hear that the ADHD medication has been helpful overall. I’m glad you have a supportive GP. The “back door spike” really is OCD as it’s finest. I still don’t understand why OCD makes it so hard to feel okay. It’s amazing that you know you will bonce back. Having that knowledge really does make things easier and should your tenacity. Do you have friends/family you can talk to? I know it can be hard when you’re worried about compulsive reassurance seeking.

How's everything going for you today @Sandevistan ?