Why me

Hello @Bucket, I'm sorry it's feeling so hard to cope at the moment. Have you got an upcoming appointment to discuss things with a health professional?

You're not alone, we are here for you ❤️

Hi @Bucket, that sounds really overwhelming, especially dealing with health anxiety on top of possible hormonal changes, it makes sense things would feel a bit out of control right now.

It might be worth checking in with a GP when you can, just to talk through what’s been happening with your body since the Implanon was removed, sometimes having that reassurance can help ease some of the anxiety.

We’re here with you, what’s been feeling most intense for you right now?

@Bucket I'm glad you do have an appointment booked but understand it's hard with no support in-between appointments. Have you ever chatted to beyond blue or lifeline before? They can be helpful with strategies to manage in the meantime ☺️

@Bucket I'm glad you've reached out to them before and I'm hoping it helped even in a small way.

Have you got anything on today?

Hi @Bucket , ❤️‍🩹 waking up at 3 or close to it some or everynight is partly about sleep rythms, hormonal activity, thyroid and ageing. It's been happening to me since I had a full hystetectomy inc ovaries 12 years ago. Instant onset menopause! I concur going to see your GP and talking about the new symptoms that you are concerned about.

In terms of 3am and how you are handling the wakefulness it can help to have a set physical and mental routine that suits you, to calm the anxious mind and to get back to sleep. I have a few things i do, I like the metaphor that my mind is like a boistrous dog who wants to get busy so I take charge of the busyness and give the dog a toy to play fetch with.

Here are three things I intentionally think when wide awake at dark o'clock.

1. I count backwards mentally from a random number in the hundreds by 1, 2 or 3. So I think...as an example the whole number in words, if by 3 then like this... Seven hundred and ninety one, 788, 785, 782, etc and just keep going if your anxiety or busy thinking takes over just go back to the last number you remember and keep going. Falling asleep is the bonus.

2. If numbers or subtraction don't work or freak you out words work as well.

I start at the beginning of the English alphabet with a 'topic' like fruit and vegetables.

A- apple, B -Banana, C- Cantelope, Durian, Eggplant, Fig etc. The point is letting the mind spool on without too much of a glitch, so if you can't find a word for a particular letter move on to the next letter. Don't try to get all the way to the end of the alphabet but if you do just start with a new safe topic, Sometimes i just think random words beginning with... whatever loops through the mind with enough attention to not 'think' about things that grab you by the fears. And yes sometimes i have to run my ABC's to think what comes next. 🙂

3. If you have a vivid imagination a set safe story like calling a flying horse, or friendly dragon to come and imagining climbing on and flying off across the world. Sometimes if I have particular worries I fly to the middle of a desert and land and dig a hole with my hands and put all my worries into it. I cover it over and turn my back on it deliberatley and climb back on friend-who-flys and fly away or i sprinkle mycworries into the sea and watch as fish eat them up. Imagining clouds and lakes and sea and forest and farms far below as I go.

All three of these mental exercises keep the thinking mind busy enough to not engage memories or fears but not so busy you can't drift off.

Sometimes, if I am particularly wide awake and restless-anxious I get up. Get a cup of hot chocolate sit and read my current book in low enough to read by light (i have a kindle) concentrating on the story. Then go back to bed and let my mind drift over the book's story or do one of the mind exercises.

No one but us can soothe ourselves (and we are allowed to be soothed) its great having good information about health issues and some of that information ends up also being worrisome because we are organic dynamic bodies/ beings. Calming techniques to get enough sleep helps us be well to focus on stuff that soothes us and the information Doctors tell us.

Hope this can be tools in yoyr self help sleep and soothing toolkit while you also move through advice and care info from your health team.

Moongal 🌙

(Dx. BPAD, CPTSD, Core anxiety)