MH so loud its deafening

Hello @outlander sweet, firstly it's lovely to see you here ☺️.

It sounds exhausting feeling like you have to constantly adjust who you are and still feel like you don’t quite fit anywhere and i can honestly relate alot to it. Feeling like different versions of yourself with different people makes alot of sense given the work that you do.

Those thoughts telling you you’re not good enough, I know they can be really loud, but they’re not the truth. You’ve put in years of effort and growth and that's something to be proud of, even if it doesn’t feel like it’s worked out the way you'd hoped.

Sending you hugs sweet, you fit in perfectly here just the way you are ❤️

Hey @outlander

I wanted to take the time to thank you for sharing this. It is so understandable that life takes over sometimes, but I am glad that you found the space to come back and post on here 💚

That feeling of being a different version of yourself for everyone else is something many of us here can really relate to. It sounds so exhausting to constantly recalibrate who you are just to feel safe or helpful in a social situation. It makes total sense that you'd feel a bit lost regarding your own identity when you're spending so much energy being what others need.

It's especially tough when you've put in years of hard work and recovery, only to have those "loud" days where the old thoughts start shouting again. Please know that having those days doesn't erase the progress you've made or the person you've worked so hard to become.

Regarding your work, it is a heavy realisation that the skills that make you great at supporting others might be making it harder to just be yourself in your own life. Navigating that line between professional "adapting" and personal authenticity is a massive challenge.

We're all here for you. You don't have to "read the situation" perfectly here; you can just be exactly where you are. Sending you lots of strength today 💚

@outlander outlander hi remember me i used to be greenpea 😄 ! good to see you it has been too long. sorry life is tough for you right now it won't always be sweetheart. you are a lovely wonderful person don't forget that. again great seeing you. bun (pea) xx

Hugs @outlander Good to see you.

I wonder if it is just true that we all have a very rich tapestry of experiences to draw from. Different people draw out different parts. Eg today my son wanted to talk to other patients in the psych ward. With each one the conversation went different directions as each chipped in with their bridging comment or 2. Eg, one knew a hotel where I had done some recording in the 80s, when I met my son's father. So we riffed on that. The other was talking about NSW and I said 2 cities I had lived in, and he also had lived in one, so my son heard me talking about the name of the road of one of my orphanages, just coming out due to back & forth of conversation, cos the guy also had lived in that city.

So it was all true for me. If I feel I am getting too scattered, I need solo quiet time, but I am keeping on with the socialising. Shifting this way and that. I did withdraw from a concert and musical group with a badly behaved psychiatrist. Will think about what to do about that group later in the year. At the moment I am going with what is working, and experimenting with listening, sharing and asserting myself, but also learning to express a sense of humour.

Can you hold a gently broad container of all the aspects that make up you.... or someway of allowing yourself