Hey @Schizopetey
It sounds incredibly exhausting to feel like the world around you is sending specific messages or revolving around your private records 💚
It is a huge milestone that your medications have helped stop the hallucinations, but it makes sense that you're feeling discouraged that the paranoia and delusions are still so present. It takes a lot of resilience to navigate those "ideas of reference" while going about your day or attending church.
When you've been on a treatment plan for years, the idea of changing things can feel really daunting, but it's also a proactive step toward finding better relief. Since you have noticed this specific plateau, it might be a good time to have a chat with your psychiatrist or GP. They might look at dosage adjustments or different types of medication that specifically target those lingering thoughts.
I know you mentioned that these feelings often happen in church or when you see specific ads. Have you found any grounding techniques that help in those specific moments, or is the noise from the paranoia feeling too loud for that?
You are not alone in this. Recovery isn't a straight line, and sometimes we have to go through these "maintenance" periods that require a few changes to get the balance right 💚