I want to be happy again

“I just want to chase happiness” that’s a really great life goal to have.

I’ll try to list a few little things that bring me happiness:

looking at the stars through my window at night.

patting my cats.

wearing my favourite perfumes.

I’d love to hear what brings a little happiness into other peoples day?

Hey @moodyahhhhh

Thank you again for sharing what has been on your mind with us all. I am so glad to hear that you are safe, but I can really hear how heavy and draining this sadness is for you right now 💚

That quote about the sea is incredibly powerful. It hits directly on a very deep truth: that often it isn't life itself we want to escape from, but the overwhelming weight of the things we carry inside. It makes sense that you'd want to eradicate those feelings, especially when you feel like they are affecting your relationships and your energy.

When even the simple act of eating at home feels like a massive effort, it's a sign of how much your battery is being drained just to process these emotions. It's really understandable that things like internships or careers feel secondary right now. It's okay to stop chasing for a while and just focus on finding a bit of relief and quiet.

Please try to be gentle with yourself. You don't have to solve everything to say, and you don't have to force a happy version of yourself for anyone else.

Is there one small thing today that feels like it might give you a tiny bit of that relief you're looking for? 💚

hm not sure what to get relief from honestly aside from forums like these and equivalent webchat services

@MatchaToad I believe the above post is for you 😊

Glad you find some relief in this space @moodyahhhhh - we gotchu 💜

@moodyahhhhh

That makes a lot of sense. Sometimes these kinds of spaces are the only places where you don't have to explain yourself or 'fix' the sadness to make others comfortable. It really can be such a relief to just be able to say "I'm sad" and have that be enough 💚

When everything feels like a massive amount of effort, webchats and forums can feel safer because they meet you exactly where you're at, without the pressure of face-to-face interaction or the expectations of a to-do list, etc. It is okay if this is the only place that feels like a reprieve right now.

Since you mentioned you aren't quite sure what you need relief from yet, maybe we can just stay in this space a bit. There is no rush or pressure at all to figure it all out or name the 'something inside' right away.

Is there anything particular about these chats or forums that feels the most helpful when the rest of the world feels like it's demanding too much of your energy? 💚

I can trust people in these services to not be judgemental and make a safe space, I like in person services but there are often long queues

the something inside of me i want relief from is all the negative feelings i feel, sadness, anger, moodiness, doubt, pessimism

@moodyahhhhh

That's really understandable as to why you would lean into these spaces. There certainly is a specific kind of comfort in knowing that you can speak your mind without fearing judgment or the exhaustion of waiting in a long physical queue. Having a safe space that is available 'right now' can truly be a lifeline when those feelings start to get heavy 💚

I want to thank you for being so open about what that 'something inside' looks like for you. Sadness, anger, doubt, and pessimism are incredibly heavy things to carry all at once. When those feelings are just swirling around, it really does make sense that you feel like your energy is being completely consumed.

It sounds like you're looking for a version of yourself that feels lighter and less clouded by those doubts. Since you mentioned enjoying the non-judgmental nature of these chats/forums, please know that you can sit here with those feelings for as long as you need.

I am wondering, if you could just turn down the volume of one of these feelings today, which one would make the biggest difference in how your day feels? 💚

i reckon doubt

@moodyahhhhh

That makes so much sense. Doubt can be incredibly loud, it's like a constant background noise that makes you second-guess your own feelings, your relationships, and even your right to just 'be.' When the volume of doubt is really high, it is no wonder everything else feels like it takes so much effort 💚

If we could imagine a volume dial, what does the doubt usually whisper to you the most? Is it doubting that things will get better, or perhaps doubting that you're doing 'enough' right now?

There is no pressure to have a 'fix' for it here. We can just sit with that doubt for a while and give it a bit of space, since this is a place where it doesn't have to be judged 💚