Anger

Hey @dangerousmind

I wanted to take the time to thank you for reaching out and for being so open about this. Firstly, I want to acknowledge how draining it is to work in an environment where you feel disrespected. It takes a big amount of self-awareness to recognise that boiling point before it actually erupts, so please give yourself some credit for looking for advice and tools 💚

I do have some things that may help create some breathing room between your frustration and reaction when you're in the heat of the moment at work. It's okay if these don't work or you don't feel like trying them; these are only suggestions.

When someone is being rude to us, our fight-or-flight response kicks in. Try committing to 5 seconds of silence before you say anything. You can mask this pause by having a sip of water or adjusting something in your immediate area.

Something else you can try is box breathing. It's one of the ways, physiologically speaking, to signal to our nervous system that we are safe and there is no danger.

• Inhale for 4 seconds > hold for 4 seconds > exhale for 4 seconds > hold for 4 seconds

Also, if you're at a desk, I would recommend keeping a notepad nearby. When someone is being frustrating, write down what you want to say, but don't actually send it or show it. Getting the words out of your head and onto paper can really help relieve that anger and frustration.

I also suggest focusing on physical sensations that will pull you out of your own head. Try pressing your feet firmly into the floor, feel and notice the weight of your body, or subtly squeeze a stress ball or even a pen.

Please try to remember to be kind to yourself after these difficult shifts.

I am curious, though, are these rude interactions happening with specific people, or is it a general culture at your workplace?

Wishing you a much calmer afternoon 💚

@dangerousmind

Hmm, well, knowing that this is a general culture, especially amongst your peers, makes a lot of sense as to why you are feeling pushed to your limit 💚

You could try the "Grey Rock" method, so whenever your peers are being rude or trying to stir you up, try to become as uninteresting as a grey rock. By that I mean give short, polite but non-emotional responses. If you don't feed the fire with your own emotional energy, sometimes people will stop directing their frustration at you because they're not getting the reaction they wanted.

Something I also recommend is trying to find a small ritual to do the moment you come back home from work, like jumping in the shower and getting dressed in comfy clothes, or even listening to a specific playlist to wash off the workday so you're not carrying all that anger from the toxic workplace culture into your home.

I hope those two points are a little bit helpful for you 💚

@dangerousmind This is something that you can do to stop the build up of toxic emotions in your body including anger. I do it every day and it lets go of all stored emotions including anger. Anger is housed in the liver and there is a specific sound you can do to pacify the liver, then you can delete what is held in your liver using an eye technique and allow the fresh energy from the earth to replace it instead. Its not an in the moment technique you can use but will go a long way to prevent you from snapping at your colleagues having clear energy in your liver. I love what its done for me, it just releases so much pent up energy and you feel fantastic. It stops you feeling like you are a victim and offers plenty of empowerment

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=6+healing+sounds+mantak+chia

Hey @dangerousmind its been a great way for me to regulate all emotions and "detox" energetically. I did see this on you tube by accident this morning. I use Quadible Integrity fields a lot. Just passing along. Its horrible being around toxic people that have bad vibes. You could also use psychic protection visualisation. Anyway heres the thing I mentioned you could always give it a try! Good luck and keep us in the loop!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooCa5Vh3rdw&t=23s

I struggle with anger too, so I feel you. When I had anger control problems in the workplace, I found it helpful to ask if I could have a quick 5 minute “bathroom” break to walk it off (if your workplace allows it).

I also found it helps me to remember how anger can impact another person if you’re motivated by empathy. The desire to not cause harm has helped me get better conscious control of it.

If you also remind yourself that emotions are there as signals to provide useful information, and not shame yourself for experiencing anger because it is understandable you’d feel it in those circumstances, you begin to have a better relationship with it. I feel like shame feeds anger even more.

Hope it helps.