Hyper-Independence and healing from it

Hi ya, it's been a couple of years since I visited the forums. Hope anyone I knew is doing ok.

I am about to have a total hip replacement in 4 weeks and I am melting down a bit. During the medical investigations the X-rays etc the hip had to be manipulated and it broke up the fusion/frozen joint so I am in terrible pain now rather than just everyday chronic pain I am also on a pain med that causes me to be snarky. I have a lovely partner and they also have some physical problems now themselves with hands and back they do have advanced MoonGal management skills but they will also be under more pressure in the house because basically everything will now fall to them to do.

I have always been hyper independent (didn't know there was a name for this until today when I was googling) and yesterday I really needed to get a job that required me to be on my feet and moving around the kitchen finished and I was pushing through pain and got very short and angry with my lovely partner because they were trying to help me.

In four weeks time, once my hip is replaced and I'm back from hospital after just three days, I will be in a situation where I MUST NOT bend down to pick up a dropped item, or even move too fast. I also have had several full anaesthetics in the past for serious operations and always come out the other side either psychotic or manic (I am diagnosed bipolar affective disorder) at first then in a mixed state. So given this lived experience - it is much more likely that I will crash through to get something done. But! If I do I could jeopardise recovery (forever!) and cost ourselves another huge amount of money for another surgery.

I need some help thinking about ways to manage myself when I am potentially really mentally unwell and falling back on old behaviours like hyper-independence and lashing out or crashing through - rather than mitigating my own internal feelings.

Anyone been in a similar situation and what worked for you?

(I don't have a psychiatrist or psychologist.)