confidence building

Hi Maze,

Low confidence or self-esteem can contribute to depression. It can go in a cycle to build on top of each other. And as a carer, it can be hard to watch our loved one's beat them selves up with negative views about themselves. I hope you are caring for you too, Maze.

This article by psychcentral outlines 8 strategies to build self-esteem. Some of this are:

1.) Deal with unhelpful thinking

2.) create visual queues

3.) Redefine failure

(see full article for more)

Does anyone else have any suggestions for Maze? I understand that @zipper @Tatsinda and @lucky have partner who have depression. Perhaps they can offer some suggestions?

CB

Hi @Maze

without even referring to the article CherryBomb mentioned, my thoughts lead to challenging faulty thinking, (which is listed in the article as the number 1 strategy). Studies have found that people that suffer from depression often have faulty thinking, (or as the article refers to it, dysfunctional thinking), which leads them to appraise situations in a negative light, often leading to hopelessness, and hence depression. CBT has a good track record for treatment in this domain.

In saying that, I think it is over simplified to focus on just one approach, rather I personally believe it is a multi pronged approach, that is unique to the individual, that will produce the best results.This may take some time to work out, and may involve the individual getting in touch with what once provided enjoyment.

I wish I could - I have the same problem with my husband although he can work as a manager in his field, when it comes to socialising etc he falls apart. He gets jealous, anxious, won't go anywhere unfamiliar.

But, I am the same, I am shy yet capable at work. I have had therapy which helps me alot but my husband wont go. Sometimes I want to ring the CATT team just to get him to realise that yes - he has depresssion and a confidence problem. It's frustrating but there is help out there - somewhere.

Just remember - you're not alone.

Yes CBT but also maybe just doing some simple things, attempting small things and acknowledging small achievements. Gradually building up skills in any area and purposely articulating them: what have I done today? Real self-esteem and confidence come from gaining real skills, but yes he may need help to perceive what real skills he has. I'm sure there are many! Does he have any particular friends or family who value things he is able to do for them, help he is able to give? Being truly helpful can be rewarding.

sorry I didn't get chance to write much of a response to all your replies so here goes- He does need to change his thinking and have looked at CBT and other therapies. He also thinks his medication isn't working- he's been on it about 7 years. Sadly persuading the doctor/psychiatrist is half the battle as they keep signing him off until he agrees to stop drinking. Swings and roundabouts!

Louise, all his family are overseas and mine aren't very understanding or patient of depression etc despite me trying to explain it. An example for you: I just found out a family member has a maintenance problem for which my hubby is more than capable and qualified to do - the family member phoned a friend to do it instead! People just don't understand.

Hubby started a new job last Nov as the boss planned to expand and was then laid off in the NY - that has shattered him!

I also have my inspirational music and plenty of animals to talk to and other things to do which really does help me stay grounded. Lol

He is lucky I work in a field where I deal with teenage mental health every day so I have some knowledge but being closer to it is definately harder! I don't know how people manage without support and I do feel for them.

Hello kind of depends

what are his hobbies?, what makes him feel happy? I'm seriously struggling myself I feel so lost and depressed. I am going to seek professional help to see if it helps. Even something as simple as making his favourite meal, encouraging him to exercise and eat more apparently food is good for stress hope he feels better soon.