Dear nature of life,
You sound as if you are in a really bad place right now, really down and feeling bad. Let me tell you that when you start to feel better none of those things will be true. It is when we are really down that we feel worthless, meaningless, useless and with nothing to live for. This could be Clinical Depression. Clinical Depresson is an illness which makes us feel utterly down and useless, and sometimes makes us doubt the reason to go on living.
You need to see a health professional, probably a G.P., who can take a look at you and check that you are not Clinically Depressed. If you are then he/she will prescribe anti-depressant medication. This takes a few weeks to work, so in the meantime your G.P. might want you to talk to a counsellor or psychologist.
Talkng with someone who understands is powerful medicine.
You can't go on like this, you need to seek help. All of us here on the forum understand and support you, so stay in touch with us too.
Hoping to hear happier news from you soon,
Ellu