Actually doing good i think?

Hey so i'm [edited by moderator] 28m, and i have this internal depraction issue, i am aware i don't bring much to offer my partner but more than less (and we have came up with a compromise and it has been working, humouressly but in a we like eachother that tad bit more everytime i'm vulnerable about it and she reassures me and makes it all okay we ease.) But i have this issue where i have to reality test (schizoaffective/bipolar/substance abuse/generalised anxiety.) And sometimes when a very small issue happens, i overdramatise it introspectively and relationship test to see if she is going to leave me by trying to leave her (use to* for a long while too*) before she could leave me, and this really tested our relationship for about 1year. But our compromise is good and working wonders, i'm much more happy supportive when things are upsetting, i started making content 🤣 go live here and there and the people i've been interacting with have veen really supportive of me for just being myself. [edited by moderator]

There's alot of pressure built up around being 28 almost 29.. like i have to be some sorta certain behaving tough independant sort of person.. i didn't even have my P's to drive until i was 28! Best relationship bonding experience i've ever had, (my partner taught me how to drive over a year ♡♡.) Anyways.. the repetetive psychosis episodes from 22-27, were fricken nuts man absolute batshit... but since etc... well i stepped back from the root cause of the distorted state and now go into adjacent psychosis states when it's that time of the year, and i wasn't actively suocidal once throughout the experience.. so i just... me and my partner are solid, alter egos & i are in a happy agreement 'so to speak,' motivation come and goes but in a healthy for me way, my partner helps with so much, all those years of having a case manager (i have a inside joke that i was government made 🤣🤣.( always recieved correction and behavioural adjustments from government services since 22, they've been a wonderful guide and help for recovery.)) But i'm good, i never thought i'd feel safe, never thought i'd find peace, never thought i'd be happy, never thought i'd find pure love, but i did, and i'm altho prepared for it to go to shit at any second 🤣 it feels good to feel and experience.

I got so caught up in being informative i forgot to enjoy the experience.

All i'm trying to say is, it got good for me and the memories i've made getting to this state will carry me forward even if some things were not a thing, you know what i mean? It got good for me and i just hope this gives some perspective, the group courses help, learning about yourself helps, case management helps, therapy helps, mental health services help.