Imaginary Son

Hello @FearofUnknown sweet, the love you describe feels incredibly real and deep. The way you talk about him shows so much care and kindness. That kind of longing can hurt in a strong way, especially when it feels so real and close to your heart.

I’m really sorry you’re carrying something so heavy. I can only imagine how bittersweet this must feel.

Do you think he represents something you’re missing in your life, or maybe a hope you have for the future?

We are here for you sweet, you're not alone ❤️.

He is a missing part of my Soul, someone I wish I could bring up with the utmost love, care and diligence. He is also a representation of so many things - the almost nine years since I've graduated from University and been unemployed; he is a tracking timeline of my age as I am approaching my mid 30s; he is a longing to have a Twin - someone who is just like me. He is the missing love of my life.

The painful part is that he is imaginary and there is no hope that I can ever birth a son like him in the future.

@MissGremlin

@FearofUnknown I can hear how much he represents to you sweet. Your hopes, your longing to love, and the parts of your life you feel have been lost. This sounds like a lot to carry.

The love you feel isn’t imaginary. Your capacity to nurture and care is very real, and that belongs to you.

Mid 30's isn’t the end of possibility. Life doesn’t always follow the timeline we imagined.

What makes you feel so certain there’s no hope for the future where you experience love or motherhood in some form sweet?

Hey @FearofUnknown ,

Thank you for sharing. I hear how much you are longing for parenthood. This is a very natural dream and wish.

I hope you find space to make the most of life not matter what comes your way and you find space to show yourself love and compassion.

We are here for you.

UPDATE: I have called Beyond Blue about this matter and have been told that what I am experiencing is called Childless Grief. Women who are infertile and/or have had a miscarriage experience these painful emotions too.

Been crying a lot today, that's why I called. Feeling a bit better now.

@MissGremlin @tyme

Good on you for reaching out @FearofUnknown . That takes a lot of courage.

I hear how hard this grief is. I hope you find a way to be kind to yourself.

I hope this is not offensive to you, but have you considered fostering?

I have always considered fostering, but I don't have the time to do it. These young ones often need a lot of emotional support and care. Yet I know I can make a huge difference to their lives.

Two years ago, I was serriously considering fostering 5 children. They had been removed from their parents and had no where to go. I was even willing to find another property so I could house these children.... but in the end, it didn't work out.

Thoughts @FearofUnknown

Also, I'm glad you had a cry and you feel a bit better for it.

@FearofUnknown well done for calling beyond blue, that takes so much strength. I'm glad you are feeling a bit better now, hugs sweetheart ❤️