Loneliness

Hey @Gen_eXhausted

I hear how heavy this is, and I want to acknowledge first that what you're experiencing isn't a failure of your coping skills; it is a profound, delayed grief response that has hit a breaking point.

Five years is often when the numbness or the survival mode of losing loved ones wears off (of course, this is not the case for everyone), and the permanent silence of their absence sets in. It is understandable that you feel terrified; you've lost your primary anchors, and the "manual" for your life feels erased.

When your nervous system is in a state of dorsal vagal shutdown (the "bedrotting" you mentioned), "trying harder" at yoga or nature often doesn't work because your body is trying to protect you from a perceived threat: the unbearable pain of loneliness. Something I'd like for you to try is to stop "fixing" - stop degrading yourself on how well you're "doing" grief. Your body is exhausted from 5 years of carrying this. Another thing is the 1% rule, where if you can't shower, just wash your face. If you can't cook a meal, eat a snack or something readily available.

Your instinct for a housemate is actually a very grounded "biological" solution. Humans are social creatures; we are most certainly not meant to live in total isolation. Having a housemate around provides a passive connection. You don't have to perform or talk; just hearing someone else move in the kitchen can lower cortisol levels and help you feel less alone. If you do this, maybe look for someone who is also quiet and works a lot. You don't need a best friend; you need a peaceful presence.

The acute mental health team (PECC) is designed for crisis stabilisation, not for long-term "soul-work" of existential grief. Since you feel alone in an AI world, you need spaces where the depth of your loss is mirrored. Coming on here is certainly a great way of connecting with others who have experienced the grief of losing a loved one, such as myself, who is still processing the loss of my Grandfather 6 years ago and a close friend of mine in December last year. I would also recommend looking for a somatic experiencing practitioner, as they work to release stuck trauma in the nervous system without requiring you to talk it out if you're too exhausted.

When you have no family, you have to build a scaffolding of support. I would recommend getting in touch with a professional advocate, such as a social worker or a mental health occupational therapist, who can help with the "barely looking after myself" part in your own home.

Hi @Gen_eXhausted ,

We are sorry to hear things have been so hard lately, and this is impacting both your physical and mental health.

I wanted to quickly flag with you that moderators have had to make a slight adjustment to your post to removed medication names and numbers related to weight loss. This is to ensure your post meets Community Guidelines. You can read these Guidelines here: https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage/title/community-guidelines

You have the whole community supporting you here.

We'll wait to hear from you.

Thankyou for your words. My condolences to you for the loss of your loved ones. I never thought of a social worker. I don't know how to initiate that. Does that bypass the mental health team? I have had a psychologist referral sitting dormant coz I'm just too overwhelmed, but I at least will think about making contact for an appointment.

I wonder if it is worth speaking to a peer worker? Peers can certainly offer non-clinical advice that can be so helpful when you are feeling alone.

In my own recovery, I found peer support incredibly powerful. It gave me hope and a reason to smile again.

https://rosesintheocean.com.au/resources-hub/

@Gen_eXhausted

Thankyou and that's ok about certain information being removed. My apologies for including it.

Hey @Gen_eXhausted ,

Feel free to tag members in when replying so they don't miss your posts. You can do this by typing "@" in front of their username e.g. @Gen_eXhausted

I really hope that connecting on the forums will take the edge off that loneliness a bit.

I see there is a social thread happening at the moment at Thursday Coffee and Chat --- 12th February 2026 feel free to join.

@Shaz51 one of our Community Guides regularly starts these social chats. We'd love to have you over there. I know you mentioned you can be a bit of an introvert, so hopefully, you can ease yourself into these 'social' threads from the safety of your home and feel less lonely 🙂

We're here for you.

Hello and welcome @Gen_eXhausted

Sitting with you

@tyme , @MatchaToad

@Gen_eXhausted

It is a huge win that you're even considering reaching out to that psychologist. When you're in the thick of bed rotting and survival mode, a referral feels like a mountain you're being asked to climb without any gear.

To answer your question about a social worker, I would say they are often the 'missing link' for people who feel too overwhelmed to navigate the system on their own.

While a psychologist focuses on your internal world, a Social Worker (particularly a mental health social worker) focuses on your external world and how you function within it. I myself have been seeing a private social worker for counselling for nearly 2 years, and they have been vital in navigating complex systems. They could help you find a housemate, look into disability support or absence-of-leave paperwork, and even help you prepare and get to your first psychologist appointment. Social workers generally operate separately from the acute/crisis teams. They are about long-term stability, not short-term emergencies. They won't treat you like a "patient to be stabilised," but like a person needing a roadmap.

Since you're feeling overwhelmed, don't try to explain your whole life story on the phone. You can use this simple process:

• Call your GP (or the clinic that gave you the referral): Ask them, "I have a psychologist referral, but I am too overwhelmed to manage the logistics of my life right now. Can you refer me to a Mental Health Social Worker/Social Worker specialising in Mental Health and other things (e.g. grief) who can help me with capacity building and support?"
• Or, search for "Accredited Mental Health Social Worker" (AMHSW) online: if you have the energy, have a look online; many work in private practice. You could email them or use their contact form on their own website and say something like, "Hi, I lost both of my parents, and I am struggling with severe isolation and daily functioning. I have a psychologist referral, I'm too overwhelmed to use. I need a social worker to help me manage my day-to-day life and get me back on my feet. Are you taking on new clients?"

And just on the psychologist referral. If the thought of an hour-long session feels too much, you can ask for a 15-minute intake call or a telehealth appointment. You don't even have to leave your bed for it.

One more thing, a social worker can also help advocate for a medication review with your doctor if you feel you are not being heard.