Should I stay or leave, My husband admitted that he is attracted to transwoman. He's paying gifts on tiktok.

Hi @Birthday_Cake

Welcome to the forums, it sounds like an exceptionally difficult time for you and your children.

There are so many areas of worry for you. It is great to hear you have spoken to your husband and expressed your concerns. It is wonderful you have been able to reach out to the forum and I know when the community is awake you will be able to engage in some very helpful discussions.

If you feel you would like additional support and someone to talk to now you can always call -

• Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs) 13 11 14

Take care

Mindee

Hello, I'm sorry this is happening to you. Your husband admitting he is attracted to someone isn't a problem in itself, in my opinion. We can be attracted to people but never intend to act on it.

I don't actually know how tiktok and money works, but I think if it's a personal relationship with her (i.e. are they talking together), rather than husband is a fan and subscribes/gives them a few dollars a month, makes all the difference.

Either way, I understand it makes you feel uncomfortable. Is it possible he would attend counselling with you if it isn't resolved?

Hello, I'm sorry your going through this. It's a difficult situation. It's hard to get the point across to him, that the energy he is giving in the other direction from your relationship and family is a detriment, and will inevitably damage it beyond repair. With him continuing to interact after you have expressed your concerns is cruel. He is the one stepping outside of the marriage. If he wants to be married, he needs to stop what he is doing and concentrate on repairing your relationship. Expecting you to just put up with this is disrespectful.

To leave the marriage would take some planning. But it's doable, if thats what you want, even with no resources at the moment. There is help and guidance out there to get you in a better position. I would start with Services Australia, they can give you information and direction.

I really do hope your husband sees sense and realises the potential losses, if he continues. Sending you strength. You are worthy of happiness.

Hey @Kenapela ,

Thanks so much for sharing your insights. We look forward to reading more about your experiences.

Feel free to introduce yourself at: https://saneforums.org/t5/Welcome-and-getting-started/Welcome-Introduce-yourself-here/td-p/1149480

See you around!