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Living with Mentally Ill Child

Ann12New Contributor03 Feb 2026, 11:15 am AEDT

Living with Mentally Ill Child

We are at our wits end on how to deal with our mentally ill adult child ( 30's). She suffers from severe anxiety, stress, laughs uncontrollably at times, is very paranoic/ delusional, blames us and everyone around her for everything, has cut all her friends off, is isolated and not interested in working and I do believe has had a few psychotic episodes. A lot of this behaviour started after some traumatic events including bullying at work a few years ago. She spends most of her days at home on her computer or watching TV . In her teens she was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. We have encouraged her to seek help but refuses. We have sought help but it is all the same advice- keep her at home so she has a safe place, gently encourage to get help, set boundaries and in particular don't engage with her when she is showing signs of starting to rage and leave the room/ house and only call emergency numbers if she is threatening to harm either herself or others. It is so heartbreaking as our daughter was so loving, full of life, lots of friends, a high achiever academically and was a keen sportsperson and we just can't see how to move forward in getting her back on track. Any ideas on how to get someone to seek help and to make living with a mentally ill adult child less stressful.

2 replies

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In response to: Living with Mentally Ill Child

BunniekinsSenior Contributor03 Feb 2026, 3:48 pm AEDT

Re: Living with Mentally Ill Child

@Ann12 hi Ann12 i have 3 adult children. my middle one is severely disabled with autism, schizophrenia, epilepsy and ptsd. basically you cannot force your adult child to get help it is up to her. what you can do is protect yourself and your partner. if i were you i would next time she is out of control and using threats of violence on herself or others i would contact your ambulance and say that you need help explain the reasons and ask for her to be admitted to a mental health unit for observation and have her there for an extended stay of a month at least.

when she is released encourage her to seek help from a psychiatrist and psychologist (this will all take time). if she refuses and is still threatening then it is up to you to give her a ultimatum. either she seeks help or she has to move out. it sounds harsh but believe you me if you want to survive you must protect yourself and your family.

In response to: Living with Mentally Ill Child

chibamSenior Contributor03 Feb 2026, 4:14 pm AEDT

Re: Living with Mentally Ill Child

Hi @Ann12 ! Welcome to the forums! 🙂

Perhaps your daughter does want help, but there's no one around who can/will provide the sort of help she needs?

Many people are unaware that there's an awful lot of assistance that traditional therapists simply won't provide; and turning to them to get any of this help can cause more dammage then good. Perhaps your daughter is aware of this (you mentioned she's previously been diagnosed by someone?), which is why it seems like she doesn't want help?

The key question is: what does she really want for herself?

If she found the magical lamp with the genie inside, who could grant her absolutely anything she wished for (e.g. ideal spouse, ideal job, ideal living arrangements, ideal community, ect.), then what would she wish for herself?

She may find it difficult to open up to you about such intimate hopes, since it sounds like you might have an agenda for her? You talk about her being a "high achiever" and "keen sportsperson", which implies that maybe you have an agenda of trying to manipulate her into being that way again? But what if your aspirations for her are not things she wants for herself? Perhaps she doesn't trust that you would respect and support her genuine aspirations?

But it'd be great if she could find someone she could trust to share her true aspirations with, who she could trust to support her; not necessarily financially, but more morally, and perhaps with practical assistance. Unfortunately, to my knowledge, there aren't any services around that offer this sort of help.

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