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MatchalattexoCasual Contributor
I’m struggling with guilt after a loss that feels unresolved. Because we lived in different countries, I keep thinking I should’ve done more — more calls, more pushing, more confronting. My head understands my limits, but my heart keeps blaming me. I’m trying to learn how to live with this kind of grief.
In response to: The Weight of “What If”
tymeModerator
HI @Matchalattexo ,
Welcome to the forums. First of all, you must love matcha as much as I do 🙂
Yet on a more serious note, it hear your grief and your questions. All the what if's in life can certainly surface when something seems out of our immediate control.
Despite not having much context, I guess it's important to remember that we can continue thinking about the could've's, would've's and should've's in life as well as all the what-if's, but does this allow you to make the most of life in the now?
Grief is a natural process. Allow yourself to grieve. It's is very normal and there is no timeline for grief. Yet also remember, there is no reverse gear in life.
What would you like your life to ideally look like?
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
MatchalattexoCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor
Welcome @Matchalattexo .
Grief and loss is painful. I guess it is natural to question what could have been done differently, but in this I would also encourage you to also consider the persons autonomy and own responsibilities. If someone tries to hide something from you, is it your fault for not knowing it was there? I don't think it is.
I know I hid my own mental illness for years from people - very successfully. I don't hold any blame on them for not knowing. I hid it because I didn't want them to know. And by doing this, I took away their option to try to help me.
Not sure if this perspective helps at all -- if not, please ignore it.
Either way - the community here is here for you, to talk to, to share your thoughts and worries, and to listen to you. And if you want, to answer questions you may have, or explore ideas of what may help you process feelings/thoughts.
@tyme (above reply for you from MatchaLatte)
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
tymeModerator
What a wonderful way to practice self-care @Matchalattexo
I'll need to hit you with all m match questions! I'm only new to it and discovered it late last year!
It WILL take time to heal. Work on being present in the moment so you don't miss out on living in the now.
Feel free to tag me into your posts so I get a notification. You can do this by typing "@" in front of usernames e.g. @tyme
See you around and those cookies sound awesome!
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
MatchalattexoCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
Shaz51Senior Contributor
morning @Matchalattexo
how is your day going my friend
In response to: The Weight of “What If”
MatchaToadPeer Guide
Hey @Matchalattexo
(Love your name btw - as a fellow Matcha enjoyer)
I wanted to say that I am so sorry you're carrying this weight of grief right now. Please try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to anyone in your shoes. Distance makes everything feel more complicated, but your love wasn't measured by the number of miles or the frequency of calls. You did the best you could with the information and energy you had at the time. We're all here for you 💚
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
MatchalattexoCasual Contributor
Morning! Trying to be a couch potato today, but the kids clearly didn’t get the memo 😄 How’s your day going?
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
MatchalattexoCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: The Weight of “What If”
tymeModerator
Hey @Matchalattexo ,
What'd you get up to today? Totally okay if it was nothing! We need those days sometimes 🙂
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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