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having to let go of my disabled son

BunniekinsSenior Contributor24 Dec 2025, 4:59 pm AEDT

having to let go of my disabled son

it is so hard letting go. how can i explain to my middle son that i wont be here forever. he has to make a life for himself. he is scared for his father who has early onset dementia. he doesnt want to grow up he wants to be home with his mum and his sister. letting go of my cancerian child is like the ripping off of a eternal bandaid it continues to hurt and yet i know it has to happen it has to come off the wound.

he was in tears today as he was heading off back to his supported living. he kept saying ring them and make them know i can come back home tomorrow for a visit. that there will be a week of visits..... it breaks my heart. he is 32 he is not a kid but he is a kid in many ways. I have said to him many times that i wont be here forever and i need to know that he will be well looked after when i am either too old or have passed on.

i hate it when he cries. breaks my heart. i need help in dealing with these emotions. i need strategies tools on how to help him and myself cope and grow with these occurances in the most positive ways possible.

Please any advice will be greatly appreciated while i am waiting to see a therapist after christmas.

bunxxxx

5 replies

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In response to: having to let go of my disabled son

StuFSenior Contributor24 Dec 2025, 5:17 pm AEDT

Re: having to let go of my disabled son

Since I lack experience and tools I can offer only hugs @Bunniekins

❤️

In response to: Re: having to let go of my disabled son

BunniekinsSenior Contributor24 Dec 2025, 5:20 pm AEDT

Re: having to let go of my disabled son

@StuF i am listening to this christmas song which always makes me cry i feel so sad https://youtu.be/2sV5xNGjpkE

but i will happily and thankfully take those hugs xxx

In response to: Re: having to let go of my disabled son

StuFSenior Contributor24 Dec 2025, 5:25 pm AEDT

Re: having to let go of my disabled son

I hope some forumites will come through with some advice you can use @Bunniekins

In response to: having to let go of my disabled son

MissGremlinSenior Contributor24 Dec 2025, 5:55 pm AEDT

Re: having to let go of my disabled son

Oh my sweet @Bunniekins, I know how heartbreaking this must be for you. Just know that you truly are doing an amazing job of supporting your children and making sure that they have support once that time comes and you are no longer here.

Sending you lots of love and hugs beautiful, always here for you ❤️.

In response to: having to let go of my disabled son

Holly__GLContributor25 Dec 2025, 11:57 am AEDT

Re: having to let go of my disabled son

@Bunniekins i am the solo mother of my severely disabled nearly 8 year old son. I am not close to where you are in this journey of parenting but I just want you to know I hear you and I hear the love for your son in your words, which means deep down even though he cries, it’s through an unbreakable connection of love. He loves you and even though he may feel emotional pain on the surface, it is a on a foundation built on love for you. You’re doing everything you can and you are a wonderful mother, even when it hurts. This is a journey that only those who have been on it or are on it can truly, deeply understand. I’m wishing you a Christmas Day of peace and a contentment that comes from knowing that connection is unbreakable ❤️

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