Managing the impacts and emotions about Bondi on top of everything else

Hi all,

I hope everyone is keeping themselves safe and as okay as they can right now with the absolute terrible circumstances playing out in the news currently on top of the holiday season chaos.

I am writing this post because I wanted to create a space where we can share how some of us might be coping right now and maybe some things that we can do to provide ourselves just that tiny little bit of calm even when it can potentially feel impossible at times like this.

For me, like many others I’ve just been in a massive state of shock. I struggle to find many useful words most of the time to describe how I feel. Sadly my grandmother personally knew at least a couple of the people who have died, and I myself know quite a decent number of old friends who live there from all walks of life and often have routine Sundays out and about on the beach like most locals there tend to do. So, I’ve also been sitting anxiously waiting to find out if those people I know are okay as well. Some are, some I still can’t get in contact with.

I feel guilty for even having personal feelings about this though and feeling impacted by what’s happened when those people who died, who were injured, who were running for their lives, have a world of indescribable trauma that I utterly cannot even imagine. The scale of this attack is so…….once again I can’t find words to describe it, but surely it goes without saying that a huge majority of our population here have been affected in some way. Even just seeing graphic news coverage can cause traumatic responses for people as I’ve learned now through psychoeducation.

I also have a lot of complex feelings about terrorism in general. I almost went to the city the same day that siege started 11 years ago where all those people were kept hostage in a cafe for ages, my sister was over in the US when 9/11 happened, had a friend that died at the concert bombing in Manchester, I know people who were directly affected by the mosque attack in Christchurch as well as those who have escaped war and conflict in Arab and Eastern European countries, and I very vividly remember having to take shelter during the disgusting Cronulla riots when I was younger.
What I have taken away from witnessing these experiences I have mentioned, is that the biggest motives for terrorism and extremism more often than not is to incite hatred, fear, and division particularly in the aftermath.

So, for me personally, some things that I have found helpful are things like only reading news sources I know I can trust because bias in media can make me pretty angry, finding a healthy distraction of some sort the MOMENT that I do start noticing that sort of blood boiling rage feeling while looking at news, I’ve been trying to do some of the usual grounding exercises most therapists get you to do but previously I was going years and years without mental health support for my C-PTSD due to the system saying they can’t help so I’m still trying to get used to some techniques like the “five things you can see, four things you can hear” etc as it’s not become habit for me yet. My therapist has also recently suggested I try to focus on looking for “glimmers” rather than triggers, with glimmers intended to mean those moments that bring you joy or even positive joyful past memories rather than traumatic ones.

Another thing I’ve found helpful is to try and hold onto the acts of kindness and bravery that we do see in our communities, particularly in times like this. Obviously it goes without saying that the hero who tackled the gunman at Bondi is a prime example of this, not to mention the people showing up in droves all over the country to donate blood to all those people suffering in hospital afterwards.
Most of all though, in any case of dealing with terrorism, I try with all that I have to not give into that temptation of wanting to point fingers or direct blame to one specific cause or side, because just like the world and life in general, terrorism too is a complex issue. And I personally believe giving into that anger and fear is exactly what terrorists want no matter what their deal really is. I believe that the moment people are fighting in fear and hatred more than they are uniting and coming together, that’s when we the people have truly lost and terrorism has won.

I also think really every emotion is valid too, to say the least. And that no two people who’ve had the same experience are going to feel the same about it. So I try not to dwell too much on differing opinions even though that can be far easier said than done at times, and really try to hold onto that acceptance of any and all emotions that are coming up because it is the actions we take as a result of those emotions that matters.

So I would love to know how others are trying deal with the emotional factors of all this, and have you found anything helpful?
I’d love to know not only for when I’m struggling to use my own coping strategies but maybe there’s also someone struggling, someone who’s even been directly impacted by this that’s reading through the forums right now, who could use this space for some comfort 💗

sincerely wishing I could do more, truly thinking of everyone impacted.

@moderator highly welcome any mods online to keep an eye on this post so that it’s safe for everyone or add any TWs if they’re necessary. ❤️