Unfair division of Family Resources

What is PDF? Paedophile?

hey @Sugarshack it really sucks to hear how poorly your mum has treated you. you did NOT deserve to be punished and left out like that.

yes, having that money would've given you more financial stability... but i also imagine it would've complicated things. sometimes people use money in a transactional manner (i.e. i paid for this, therefore you owe me obedience, etc) and in some ways, you've escaped that now.
you've come so far without her financial aid. you've worked hard on bettering yourself and connecting with a community that sees you - you have something that money can't buy, and that's a good heart and willingness to self-improve.

as a result of doing the right thing and not enabling her behaviours, you weren't given that financial support. but this is a strong reflection of your character and morality - i think that deserves recognition. i like to believe that good things happen to good people - maybe it won't happen immediately, but i do think you'll be rewarded for it in time.

Thankyou @rav3n and you are dead right about the transactionalism which is why I wanted nothing to do with it and I sorta forget that in time. But yes "I gave you $2 you owe me 2 hours" is basically how she works and when I was loyal to my mother I had a very dysfunctional life as a baby trapped under a fairly incompetent tyrant, and lets not even throw the N word around but she's a classic one of those and, thank you for your kind words it's a reminder of my freedom away from that toxic mindset and yes I have definitely built a better and independent life so that when the old devil dies, I will say "It's a shame she couldn't see the value in having a healthy family" as in my old life of childish dependence it definitely would have been a devastating blow with the centre of my universe being torn out. I have to keep myself reminded of the big picture of what I escaped and what I have gained from escape, and thankyou for the reminder.

ofc! even when we know that you're better off without her or her financial support, it's also very understandable that you'd feel hurt and frustrated that she couldn't give you what she gave your brothers. @Sugarshack your emotions are valid.

it is a shame that she couldn't see the value in having a healthy family. it sucks seeing the trauma cycle impact generations - but here you are breaking that cycle. that takes so much strength and resilience.

Thankyou @rav3n yes I have to remember the pain and frustration of being "in the game" was so terrible that I walked away from it and that's why my mother punishes me, misery loves company so she only ever tried to drag me down and never to lift me up and, without her I am a lot better off even if it means my life is very difficult.

Also she hangs out with lowlives and refuses to address/break THE CYCLE so I have to remember in order to progress with most of society I also have to turn away from that culture.