Hello, I have pretty bad anxiety.

Hey @DahliaDreams

Sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I wouldn’t be able to tolerate having people over all the time. It sounds incredibly draining. I’m glad you have a place to go to release your emotions. It must be somewhat cathartic (but it sucks that you are unable to feel free to cry in your own home). I too have struggle with anxiety from childhood. A combination of years of therapy and medication seems to be working well for me. Waiting for health results is always so stressful. I’m glad everything was okay though.

It’s great you were able to talk to your partner. Even if it can’t take away all the anxiety, it’s nice having someone that can share the burden with you. I’m sorry the wait time is so long for counselling services. Is there anything you’ve notice that helps your anxiety? I find that cold drinks/ice reduces mine. It does seem like there’s a lot of pressure on you. Is there anyway you like to wind down when you’re stressed?

Hello @DahliaDreams and welcome

I also experience anxiety on and off (though not so much off in recent years!) and can relate that deep overwhelm that can come with it, especially when there are things going on in our life that we don't have complete control over. Having constant house guests sounds like it would quickly become exhausting - as an introvert the thought of houseguests sounds exhausting for any length of time, but even for the most social person it would be understandable for this to start having an effect. And then to have some prolonged uncertainty around your health on top of this, that's a lot to manage.

I'm glad to hear that you were able to talk to your partner and that you've got good friends there. I know finding professional support in person can be hard with wait-times, but I wonder if you've considered online sessions? I do video calls with my counsellor after only ever doing face to face prior to this, and I find video really works for me. Maybe it's something to look into as an option?

Hello @Lapis_Anteater,

it's nice to hear from you - I did not know if anyone would reply. I guess you understand since you also have anxiety. It's making my life pretty unpleasant right now. Sometimes doing something active (even housework - yuck) does help. I try to stay busy if I can.

I try to do nice things for myself, life taking a hot shower or making a nice snack. My appetite has diminished a lot during the last couple of days. Talking to friends helps, but I don't want bother people too often. That is why I would like to go to therapy/counselling - I feel like a wouldn't be too much of a burden to a professional.

I'm sitting here on the couch listening to music. I keep thinking about my Mum who passed away years ago. When I think about her I start crying as I miss her so much.

How are you doing tonight? I hope you are going well.

Hi @Ru-bee,

Thanks for replying. I would consider video counselling although I think I prefer in-person as I like to get a feel for someone's personality, if that makes sense. I find it hard by video for some reason. I also have autism - I was diagnosed later in life - so that may explain why I am better in person, as I can struggle to 'read' people sometimes.

I'm glad your anxiety has not been an issue recently. I was doing okay up until this year and then a lot of things have come up. Prior to that I was reasonably good and did not think I would need to go back to therapy. Now I think I would just really like to talk to someone regularly. I think it would be a good support. A lot of things feel stressful lately. I really want to run away.

How are you tonight?

Hey @DahliaDreams

It’s great that you have activities that can help (even if it’s just a little bit). Counselling can really give you a space to talk freely and not have to worry about being too much. I hope you find somewhere that can take you on soon. What songs are you listening to? I’m really sorry for your loss. My dad passed away 5 years ago. What I would do to be able to hug him again. Do you have a favourite memory of your mum? (no pressure to answer)

I’m doing well thanks. It’s the first hot day in Melbourne for a while so I’m trying my best to avoid going outside whilst it’s still hot. I managed to study a bit, but I think I’ll catch up over the holidays. How’s the weather where you are?

Hey @Lapis_Anteater,

it's hot here too. I used to live in Melbourne - but it got too busy for me. Too noisy. I do sometime think I wouldn't mind an extended visit back there, to see all my old haunts, I don't know.

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. We always miss them, I think. I don't know why I've been so teary about my Mum lately. It's been a long time since she passed - 10 years, I think. I lose track of time, I sometimes get confused as to when things happened, it's a bit embarrassing.

My Mum was a complex woman, so her passing was difficult for me. It's like I lost all hope of ever having the kind of relationship I really wanted with her when she passed. So many missed opportunities there, I wish I had known her more fully as a human being. Yes, I would like to hug her too, but she wasn't affectionate at all.

I'm listening to classical guitar music while my partner is out for a catch up at the local.

Tell me about your Dad, if you feel up to it. Dads are special.

Hey @DahliaDreams

That’s good. Yeah, that makes sense. Melbourne is pretty busy. I find it alright in the suburbs though.

Completely agree. It’s strange how much time can pass without it actually feeling like it has. It can feel so fresh even after a long time.

That’s really unfortunate. It must be hard to think of all the what ifs or all the things you could have done differently. But a relationship is a two-way street and requires both people to make it work.

Oh nice! Do you have a favourite song?

My dad was my best friend. He was the only one who could touch me when I’m anxious and calm me down. I was truly lucky to have the relationship I had with him. He left a big hole in my life but the rest of my family and friends have really stepped in and supported me.