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Non-ADF family member expectations around Christmas/NY

0ddsidianSenior Contributor12 Dec 2025, 11:30 am AEDT

Non-ADF family member expectations around Christmas/NY

Non-ADF family member expectations around Christmas/NY

Hi everyone,

I was reflecting on my experiences of Christmas growing up the other day with my Mum and how my Dad’s military service impacted what Christmas involved for us. Context; my Dad was in the ADF for my entire childhood and adolescence.

Because my Dad’s work took us away from our extended family and we often lived many hours (and sometimes days) away from them we almost always had to travel back at Christmas time. There was kind of this unspoken expectation that we HAD to do that even though it cost money, was hectic for my parents (particularly my Mum) to plan, and was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting.

Christmas is already stressful enough but then you add having to travel hundreds or thousands of kms every year? It’s a lot. That’s not even considering any interpersonal challenges that might have been going on between family members at the time. Honestly, it never seemed like the extended non-ADF member family members ever really understood how tough this was for us year after year; almost never waking up on Christmas morning in your own home, and having so many logistical things to consider in the lead up.

Does anyone else relate to this? What have your experiences been with family expectations at the end of the year?

@Caring_wife @EchoGirl @CJ130 @Heyyou @Enewt95 @Cally1 @LG @CarryOnPorkChop @ccau_82 @Azalea @Oaktree @Magpie22 @rosieC13 @RiverSeal @GalaxyGuide @Mumoftwoboys

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In response to: Non-ADF family member expectations around Christmas/NY

OaktreeSenior Contributor15 Dec 2025, 7:36 pm AEDT

Re: Non-ADF family member expectations around Christmas/NY

Hi @0ddsidian

I just want to let you know that I read your post. When I was serving, I think I went home for Christmas one year. Melbourne to Perth. Other than that, I spent Christmas alone in the barracks. Sorry for your experience though. That sounds really hard. Christmas is a stressful time as it is without the extra demands of having to travel every year to please extended family.

In response to: Non-ADF family member expectations around Christmas/NY

RiverSealModerator20 Dec 2025, 2:53 pm AEDT

Re: Non-ADF family member expectations around Christmas/NY

Hey Forumites, we sure are getting close to Christmas and then it will soon be New Years! Where does the time go...

Thanks @0ddsidian for tagging me in to this great discussion about families during this time! It's really on my mind this year and it's a good time to reflect on years gone by as I am not spending Christmas with my family this year and it's our second Christmas since dad passed away.

My dad was in the Navy for 16.5 years before I was born and then work as a civilian for the ADF while I was growing up. Also my grandfather was in WWII and unfortunately did not make it back to his family and died as a POW. We used to spend Christmas with my grandmother and poppy (my grandmother re-married) and we would always talk about my grandfather and his service and the challenges the family faced during and after the war. It was an emotional time for my father as he really wished that his father was around and talking about it brought up a lot. I always loved to hear my dad tell me the family stories about his father and other relatives and their service in the ADF.

We also used to go the Officers training base at Jervis Bay for swims sometimes at Christmas too. It was always so exciting going to different bases with dad and using the facilities that families were allowed to use. We didn't need a pool at home and it was a regular thing for us to go to a base in summer for swims. I always remember the smell of the Zinc sunscreen on my nose and the sound of the blue foam drink cooler with ice in it which was a well used family item.

I think I will have a swim in the pool in my apartment building after reflecting on those times and have a good FaceTime with my mum and sister on Christmas day and talk about old times!

Thanks again for the reflections!! ❤️

RiverSeal

@Caring_wife @EchoGirl @CJ130 @Heyyou @Enewt95 @Cally1 @LG @CarryOnPorkChop @ccau_82 @Azalea @Oaktree @Magpie22 @rosieC13 @GalaxyGuide @Mumoftwoboys @Ru-bee

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