Other People - Immaturity and Poor Social Skills

hello @Sugarshack

did you leave fridge door open and kitchen dirty coz thats how you found it?

just curious 😁

its hard if living with a group whos lives have been more sheltered than your own, doesnt excuse bad form if everyone just cleaned up thier own plates and stuff as they went it makes all the difference but not so simple in some heads right

Morning @REDLINEZ750 ...!! I tend to pick up a little bit more than my own filth every time I clean...and I noticed the main offender of kitchen filth doing a little bit less today. Ultimately I am choosing not to make a war about these things but the chess pieces are sliding around in my own head of "disagreeing with the behaviour but not disagreeing with the character" and, "I know what I need to do to ultimately remove myself from this situation in the medium/long term"......

And, my recent change of situation came to a sudden end!! The company underestimated the true cost of hiring, resources needed and decided not to proceed....I find it a relief that my conflicts with the situation came to a natural end and wish them well, will have no problem replacing with another job.

But what I am trying to say here, is that I am noticing and I think it's a big lesson from the universe, you know how you just get shown a series of situations until YOU wake up and get the message?

What I am seeing here is an endless series of people who blame what's around them and try to isolate so "they live without problems"....yet what they become is a prickly vat of "im fine as long as I am soaking in my own world where I am in control...." then when "outside" comes knocking they lose the plot.

What I can see against these scenarios is my own growth in "capacity to endure other people's BS" which has opened doors for employment, friendship, societal opportunities etc and means that I am fairly at peace how my life has turned out, even when it's nowhere near what I hoped for. Those other people are stomping around "aargh I NEED to be unchallenged and hide in my room and where is my mummy and daddy??" whereas I grew out of that 10 years ago gone from not having mummy and daddy, reconciling their absence and filling in what they didnt do for me, no longer waiting for them to come back or being without resources, i filled those in myself now I am more able to live as a functional adult whereas my past has been a circus of dysfunction and lying to myself.

you are a soldier @Sugarshack it takes wisdom to see them chess pieces moving round and not go scorched earth on people that would probably say something inteligent like whats thier problem dude when the deust settled honestly not seeing what responsibility is or self respect making it near impossible to grasp the concept of respecting others.

i like just keeoing my space acceptable bed made floor clean sort of thing and if i venture out and see tiles and think f4n grubs i realise if i dont mop im one to now so i mop and return to my world of music pooky podcasts and now forum so everything around me is not a trigger 😁

effective most minutes of the day

Good onya @REDLINEZ750 and I know you're a trooper too. I reckon one of the hardest things in life is holding it together when it feels like there's not many reasons to bother doing so, but the greatest reason is our own backbone and self respect. I spent today hanging out with a bloke who's wife left him when their youngest kid was 5 years old. Yes he comes from a priveleged family and has a good situation in regards to housing, but what I took away from a few hours yarning with him is that he has chosen to take life on, give it his best shot and never let anger, sadness or blame creep in and rob his happiness. I felt like a wimp after being around him, I thought to myself "I dismiss and push other people away to protect my energy but this bloke has such a strong character, he's in control of his energy and he is on the front foot. He gives a lot of energy but he also creates a lot of ripples of goodwill around him and he doesn't let self disrespect get at him".

I know in my life self disrespect has been a thing and I dont really see it from the inside so I only know its there from what other people have commented. So I reckon like you will mop your floor, I plan to keep going with my life and yes I will feel frustrated about these grubs but I will keep trying to summon good energy to give to them and I will try to separate the grub behaviour from the potential of who they are as people. Point being that if I push them away I add to the dead energy but if I think "What would my father of 5 kids mate do?" he would keep up the positivity and he would see it, like your mopping, as not going down to the level of the grubs NOR judging/hating them as grubs but simply as what needs to be done for what he wants to see in life.

And I think for my current and next chapter of life I will work on that so that I carry my own personality no matter what people are doing around me, and that will allow me to shine relatively even when I have the shits inside. To be like a school teacher, knowing there's brats in the class but still teaching properly. That doesn't mean supplying them with energy nor fighting them, just thinking "I can tolerate and disagree with people and despise their behaviours but i can still treat them with respect, try to inspire them and also keep a spring in my step because I dont want to be like them and if i let them drain me, I have lost half the battle and hide in my own house. "

That said hiding in my room is the greatest pleasure as in there I can play with my toys. But feeling sad about my home or lack there of permeates to depression when i go into society- nope I will keep trying to stop depression with my beliefs rather than get a lazy trap "If I had a better house I would like my life more" TRUE but in the past when I have had better houses it has never given me more happiness, just more cleaning. Next house I will take my internal strength and happiness there, it might be my coffin but also it might not be so I better stay afloat SO i can keep my eyes open for it 🙂

I hope you are having a good one mate and always I appreciate your perspective and input.