TW: Difficult rituals and behaviour

I don't mean to offend you but from my understanding, these rituals used to be a part of Witchcraft and nowadays people do it as part of a fun hobby. Are you aware of your daughter's interest in possibly Witchcraft? It could be a good way to start a conversation with her by asking where she's learnt all her rituals from. Apart from that, she could just be having fun with what she is doing and if it is disruptive to you then maybe you can suggest she reduces the frequency that she does these things. You could also speak specifically about which ritual is disturbing you the most and maybe she can compromise and not do it anymore. For example, burning the sage can be dangerous indoors so it makes sense if she stops doing that.

These rituals stem from fear and protecting herself against witchcraft so I don't think she sees herself as practicing witchcraft. Earlier in the year she became very religious and read the bible, went to church, used Christian symbols as a way to protect herself from dark forces.

I suspect she is experiencing psychosis but she interprets it as people trying to attack her. Thus it is difficult to dissuade her from it. I'm trying to encourage her to seek counselling for her mental health and SID (although I don't think she's using currently, but she does relapse regularly).

Yes @Jane241 it sounded like self protective behaviour to me. It is hard being attuned as a mum and knowing someone we love is suffering. Your daughter sounds very sensitive. It is a delicate path to walk as a carer. We have to regulate our own fears as well. Sensitivity can be beautiful and a blessing but has its challenges for everyone.

Not sure how much you have been able to talk through life and ethical things with her in general. Normalising things can be helpful to a point. Psychosis can be scary all round. Sounds like your daughter is yearning for wholistic approaches which can be healthy. Not sure if you can broaden her focus, rather than get caught up in opposing ideas. I also wonder at the medicalisation of mental health and if there are other options.

I understand your safety concerns. I am talking more about layers or protection or levels of being shielded, without escalation but in a matter of fact way, as part of life. I have only been able to have good conversations about all the many things that make up life, relatively recently with my son. It seems to be helping reduce episodes. However, it cannot be forced. When there may be some trauma in her experience, it can influence her intensity. Maybe cocooning her through it til she feels stronger and more boundaried, is a possibility.

wishing you the best

🍎

Thank you for understanding and thoughtful suggestions. Being sensitive and practical is something I'm working on with my communication (I'm doing a course to help my communication navigating this territory). It's tricky because I have to manage my reactions to what's going on, and be sensitive to my daughter and what she is going through, particularly as her past way of dealing with things is through substance use, so surely this must be a better alternative? It's hard.

Hi @Jane241 , I can see how much you care for your daughter and her wellbeing, and wishing she would get support/treatment for the suspected underlying psychosis. I imagine that would be very emotionally heart-wrenching to be watching and not able to make those positive choices for her.

If she is not feeling safe to let go of her rituals, I wonder if there is a way you can help support her to do them in a safer (re: burning sage) and perhaps more tolerable-to-you manner?

e.g. discuss with her about the timing of when she does the morning rituals, or if she can do it quieter or in a room that would not cause you to wake?

e.g. essential oils - can she dilute them? (depending on her beliefs about the oil and how/why it protects her, this may be an option?)

My personal tip on broaching discussions - come with an open, non-judgemental and curious mind, to understand why she feels protected by these rituals (even if you don't believe in them) and how you can strike a balance between her needs in this and yours. 💜

If she is worried about going back into a mental health ward, would you be able to reassure her that it would not happen unless her behaviours are causing herself or another person harm? Could you setup safety with her that she can feel sure that disclosing psychosis symptoms can be treated as an outpatient if she chooses?

(Having said this, I do not know anything about psychosis treatments - so please if this is not something that can be done without inpatient admission, then ignore the above!)

Thank you for your suggestions. I need to find a way to talk with her about her mental well-being in an open-minded way, with reassurance and talking about out patient options. That's work that I am doing on myself too, so that discussion doesn't descend into frustration, nagging and argument (at least on my side).

I wish you 'luck' and lots of wisdom in that @Jane241 😊.

If you ever want to run a conversation-plan / phrasing past people on the forum, you would be most welcome. I know for me sometimes running a conversation-plan past someone for feedback or help in how to approach delicate topics can really help me. 🙂

And of course if there is any way we can support you remotely/anonymously in your own journey and coping methods for your daughters behaviour/illness, let us know. 😊

PS - if you type the "@" symbol it will come up with some suggested names of people who have recently posted on the thread, or you can type their username if not in the list. Then that person selected will get a notification that you have responded to them. 😎 e.g. @Jane241

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support.