AstelContributor
Vent - Something needs to be done about my mother
I need to blow the whistle on my mothers mental illness properly.
I, my siblings and my father have all been living in denial of the destruction she has wrought.
We'd rather keep up the appeasement than face all the pain.
She is one of those unpredictable incredibly disturbed humans walking the Earth.
The only diagnosis she has is Bipolar 2.
She was given that when she was pregnant with me 28 years ago. This is certainly, in my opinion, not the whole picture. I feel there is something sinister going on as well.
She took Lithium for a week but went off and has received no mental health assistance since then.
The road of my past has so many twists and turns growing up under her that it feels impossible to recount or reconcile sometimes.
I have to face the uncomfortable but undeniable truth. It is because of her I have all of my issues. They may be my responsibility now, but is because of whatever has been animating her that U have them.
But out of all those physical and environmental things I have endured, and the personal growth I have done, one thing remains, our whole family still lives under her dark emotional shadow.
She is the big secret of our family.
Our shared pain we dont discuss acts as our prison cells.
Anger and anxiety and despair erupting from each of us toward each other.
When it only has one source...
She is crazy.
And I don't ever usually use that term.
I only reserve it for individuals whose unwellness is damaging the health and wellbeing of others and they won't develop the willpower or insight to at least acknowledge it.
That's crazy.
No more.
It is not enough to be moved away from her but then not talk about it.
Instead of love for our mother we feel a silent disdain.
It has to be brought out in the open.
I have recordings of her rages I can barely bring myself to play.
And I don't want to play it for any individual outside the family because I dont want to be responsible for putting that madness in someone else's ears.
The state doesn't care in Australia.
What can they do?
If I could lock her up I would.
But it is unlikely she could be involuntarily sectioned.
I feel I need to rally my family to put her out in the open. If this results in a full blown Narcissistic collapse and then hospitalisation then so be it.
I feel it is our moral obligation to ourselves and society to put an end to this behaviour and the plight that she is.
I don't feel comfortable with her unhinged being roaming the world bringing constant chaos and destroying lives.
I just cannot carry this silent burden anymore. I have to rip it off and be free of it entirely otherwise I will never properly rest.
How do we make her see it is her and how do I stop it?
